TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED =0)

Discipline

2010-03-05T19:09:00.000-08:00

Discipline as defined from dictionary.com:

Main Entry: 1 dis·ci·pline
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-sə-plən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French & Latin; Anglo-French, from Latin disciplina teaching, learning, from discipulus pupil
Date: 13th century
1 : punishment
2 obsolete : instruction
3 : a field of study
4 : training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character
5 a : control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior c : self-control
6 : a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

So as you can imagine, having a total of 6 kids all together (even though 2 are in a different state, doesn't mean that discipline does not come into play) one can see how important this simple looking word can be. Yet in the trenches of parenthood, this one word can lead to a situation that can sometimes seem like a grenade going off. Lets just say my 10 year old gave me good reason when he was probably 3 or 4 years old to purchase and read Dr. Dobson's revised edition of "The Strong Willed Child".

We all know every child is different. To say that seems silly, we are ALL different. Some more passive, some more agressive.. some more patient.. some more trusting.. some more passionate... I believe God places different things in each of us for HIS glory and HIS purpose. I also believe that as a parent it is my responsibility to instill discipline in their lives. As frustrating as it may be at times, as time consuming, and geez just to be honest... as much of a huge pain in the butt it may be... as the definition shows: it is from instruction; training that corrects, molds, perfects moral character...

And as the Bible puts it in Proverbs 3:11 "My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent his rebuke. (12) because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in."

When I look at discipline this way, I have to admit there are issues the Lord has had to repeat himself to me with his instruction... guess I kinda get where my kids get it from ;0)

Praise God that his mercies are renewed every morning... FOR ALL OF US!!!

Babies...

2010-02-25T21:14:00.001-08:00

So two friends of mine just had little girls... and the stories are so different, yet in the end, the result is the same: two precious little angel girls born, both formed by the very hands of God.

One friend is happily married, with a beautiful family. The other friend is a single mom, and the dad isn't in the picture at all.. hasn't been since the pregnancy happened.

One friend was excited, the other friend was terrified.

One friend had a beautiful little girl a week ago and I can't wait to go to her lovely warm loving home and love on her and watch the effect she has had on her "big" sister and brother ;0)

One friend didn't think she could do it on her own, didn't know if bringing a baby into her life at this time was good for her, or good for the baby. She seriously considered ending the pregnancy... I encouraged her that this baby was a gift from God that was here to help change her life for the better.. to give her hope and an innocent little person to love in her life, who would love her back just because.

Many nights I prayed, many nights I cried, we even got to a point where she said pretty much..look I don't need this, I don't need you making me feel guilty...
to which I apologized and believe me, I wasn't attacking her, I was just sticking up for this innocent little life that didn't deserve to be ended because she had so many questions.. the what ifs? the part where she couldn't see how anything would work...

I had to thank God tonight, as his Holy Spirit so gently reminded me that at one point my friend told me... Angie, you are the ONLY person in my life telling me that I should keep this baby, my family all says this is wrong for me, I can't do it, the baby doesn't deserve to be brought into this situation (since the dad left)... tonight I looked at the pictures posted, and I saw a little life that I fought for, that I prayed for, that I put into God's hands when I knew He was the only one who could touch her heart in a way that would make her understand. And I was reminded that I need to remember that passion I had for that baby and pray for other things in life with that passion.

For now I rejoyce in the little girl that was born today with the middle name "HOPE"

A new version of footprints in the sand...

2010-01-28T19:58:00.000-08:00

FOOTPRINTS...A New Version

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, the Lord's footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.

But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures, and returns.

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord's, soon paralleling, His consistently.

You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: Your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus' are now walking precisely in His steps.

Inside His larger footprints are your smaller ones, you and Jesus are becoming one..

This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.

Eventually they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.

You are amazed and shocked. Your dream ends.

Now you pray: 'Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But You walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with You.'

'That is correct.'

'And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely..'

'Very good... You have understood everything so far..'

When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way.'

'Precisely.'

'So, Lord, was there a regression or something ? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first..'

There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.

'You didn't know? It was then that we danced!'

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

More Beautiful You

2010-01-08T20:11:00.000-08:00

I sooooo love this song, and I found this clip on YouTube about the songwriter and the meaning... just thought I'd share =0)

New Year's Eve.. 2009 - 2010

2010-01-03T19:01:00.000-08:00

So being the wild woman I am.. I spent this New Years just like I have for sooo many years... oh ya, I stay up late, eat junk food, tell stories, wait for the clock to strike 12.. I just do it with a younger crowd ;0)
For years I've let the boys stay up as late as they could... this had always seems AMAZING to them (we have a strict bedtime especially during school) so for one night of the year.. the sky is the limit!! We have popcorn (ALWAYS) and sometimes I even cave in and let them have pop (this year's choice.. Sierra Mist... caffience free...lol) Anyway, thanks for my dear sweet crew of late-nighters...

Darian, Gavin, Brandon, Logan and Tessa!!!! We had fun and ALMOST everybody made it up until midnight...if not they were within MINUTES of making it, but fell asleep ;0) My favorite way to bring in the New Year is with my kids... good quality time... that's good for them and for ME ~ I love you Kiddo's

So.. in bingo, we played 3 games before they were ready to "move on" to something new..lol and the winner's were: (1st game) LOGAN (2nd game) BRANDON (3rd game) LOGAN AGAIN =0)

Where is Sheldon one might ask??? WELL.. somehow he cleaverly came up with the "I'll put the babies to bed when they still have to get a good night's sleep" and with lil Miss Hollynd he has a sleep partner ;0) This was Brandon's first year being a big boy and staying up late!! AND BY GOLLY, he was the ONLY one who was not ready to go to bed...lol!!!!! Way to go Big Man.. mommy's proud of you!!! What a blessed way to bring in the New Year!!! Thank you Lord for the children you trust us with to show them the way to you...

Moments..

2009-12-28T19:22:00.001-08:00

So I finally made it through a Christmas without crying because I missed my mom. I had my moments where I had to really try HARD not to think about it when the thoughts would start creeping in... but "take every thought captive"... then wouldn't you know it, today I'm trying to get either Shine on the radio at home, or WBGL, and as I'm looking I hear the start of Allan Jackson's "Where were you when the world stopped turning"... yep, I lost it. It took me back to watching the 2nd plane hit the world trade center with my mom, and watching ALL DAY in shock with her... and I can remember watching the country music awards when Allan Jackson debuted that song.. once again with my momma.

It's just crazy how you hold it together, hold it in, think you're making some serious progress... and then a song comes on.... and in an instant you are taken back to what seems like yesterday, a memory of not even something GREAT, but just a memory of her being with me. I have to say I've gotten better.. but then I still have to say, you NEVER get "better".

A baby's conversation with God

2009-12-17T21:07:00.000-08:00

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' and God replied, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?'
God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

And God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Christmas time...

2009-12-16T19:39:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine posted this on facebook... thought it was very touching:

He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.

As Christmas gets closer, I pray we all remember the TRUE meaning of this celebration, this holiday, this day unlike any other.

The BIG DAY

2009-12-08T19:03:00.000-08:00

There used to be a time in my life where fear ruled me: any type of fear... fear of something happening to Sheldon; fear of something happening to my kids; fear of someone hurting someone in my family.. JUST PLAIN F-E-A-R. You name it, I at some point had worried about it in some fashion or another.

Thank you Heavenly Father for revealing in my life the TRUTH that .. "There is NO FEAR in love; but perfect love casts out all fear" 1 John 4:18. There is no fear here. You reign in my heart and in my life. As I go through this life, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will FEAR NO EVIL.. for you are with me" Psalm 23:4. Every step, every thought, every word, surrendered to your will.

That is how I can watch my little boy walk into surgery

and have no fear in my heart. I trust in you completely. I know what your word says about you watching over us and that you never sleep or slumber... and most of all HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME... AND BRANDON.

Up and going EARLY..

2009-12-07T19:45:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a BIG day for our little guy. Brandon gets his tonsils and adenoids out. He's excited about ice cream and popscicles.. and mommy is excited that he will be able to BREATHE.. get TONS OF AIR in his little lungs =0) Daddy can't take tomorrow off, so it's just me and Brandon, and Susie (my adopted mom..lol!) is going to come over and watch Hollynd. Pray all goes well with lil miss, she LOVES her Susie, so I think everything will be just fine.. it's more a mommy thing I guess!!!
My handsome little Indian for Thanksgiving =0)

The little things =0)

2009-11-30T19:11:00.000-08:00

Brandon made this in pre-k with his handprint.. it says:
This isn't just a turkey
As anyone can see
I made it with my hand
which is a part of me
It comes with lots of love
especially to say
I hope you have a very
Happy Thanksgiving Day

A sweet little smile =0)

My boys... all snuggling under blankets watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.. oh so much to be thankful for

Our little miracle ;0)

What I've REALLY learned...

2009-11-29T21:02:00.001-08:00

Sharing my heart on this one... wearing it oh.. pretty much on my sleeve...

What I've learned...
1. The REAL definition of mommy and daddy is not a "GENETIC" or "BIOLOGICAL" term..

2. The REAL word daddy does not always mean you got someone pregnant.

3. The REAL word mommy does not always mean you came from my tummy.

4. REALLY you can love a child with all of your heart and soul without any "GENETIC" or "BIOLOGICAL" connection.. they steal your heart before they even come into our world.

5. Every little girl REALLY wants to be "Daddy's little girl"... even if she is a "tomboy" when she is little or even at the age of 38 years old, and thank you Lord for giving me a husband who REALLY understands this.

6. The REAL connection between mommy and daddy and baby ... can easily be seen when they look in each other's eyes.

7. I REALLY can't imagine life without my daughter...

Thank you Heavenly father for REALLY teaching me all about the way that you love us...

Grandpa from Arizona =0)

2009-11-24T21:33:00.000-08:00

We had a very blessed visit with Sheldon's Dad and his Aunt Kitty.. WAY too short, but full of lots of love! His Dad is just the most doting and adoring Grandpa you could ever ask for... he steals my heart when I see how gentle and patient he is with the kids.

Grandpa and Hollynd

Aunt Kitty and Hollynd

Grandpa and Brandon chatting

ALL of us together =0)

PRAYER REQUEST

2009-11-21T21:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight my cousin's little 3 month old son Owen Jackson was flown to OSF in Peoria with serious RSV. He has a twin sister named Jaylyn Christine ...oh yes.. the Christine is after me.. that's my middle name ;0) Please pray for our little Owen who just hit 9 pounds!! He was born 4 lbs. 11 oz. and his sister was 5 lbs.1 oz.on August 10th when they came into this world. His sister just hit 12 lbs!! They are growing SO FAST and getting bigger.. FINALLY!! Owen has had some battles already because of being so tiny when he was born, so please keep him, his momma and the WHOLE family in your prayers. Children are such a gift from God, and Owen is in the best medical hands possible in Peoria, and in the safest place in the world, which is God's hands!
Owen Jackson Ross (the day he was born... soooooo stinkin tiny)

Katrina and Owen (maybe this shows a little better how SMALL this little guy was)
H-A-N-D-S-O-M-E!
Owen and his twin sister Jaylyn

Please pray for that peace that passes ALL UNDERSTANDING.. as parents we all know how hard it is when it's our babies that are sick! Pray for Katrina and the rest of the family to draw close to God and find His COMFORT, His PEACE, His LOVE, and His Rest... AND OF COURSE... His HEALING =0) Thanks in advance for the prayers everybody!

The Reunion Heart Necklace

2009-11-20T06:04:00.000-08:00

Momma, I miss you... I still remember when you found this necklace in the Christian bookstore with me, and showed it to me crying... it reminded you of my Daddy in Heaven. Neither of us had the money to get it at the time, but just a few days later, Leslie asked me for ideas of what to get you for Christmas... oh I knew in my heart what it was!!!!! I knew you would cry when you opened it (it's a secret we as daughters seem to know that if we can draw tears, we've chosen the perfect gift..lol) Since you've passed 3-1/2 years ago.. I have had the necklace and wear it all the time. A few weeks ago when Aunt Pauline (your TWIN) was so very sick.. I felt the Lord telling me to give her the necklace. She knew the story, she knew you never took it off.. oh man... I was like WHAT???? LORD REALLY??? This is one thing I have of my momma's that she wore, that she loved, that had such special memories belonging only to me from the moment she saw it, to the moment she opened it. Knowing that if I am not obedient, I will not have peace, I told my Unie (that's what I call my Aunt Pauline.. her middle name is UNA after my grandma, but I call her UNIE, short for UNIQUE.. I've always felt she was a very unique gift that God gave me as an Aunt) anyway.. I told her since she was in the hospital that the next time I saw her, the Lord told me to give this necklace to her... she started to cry. She told me how much she loved me, how much she knew it meant to me, and how much it meant to momma. To make a long story short... actually, it's already long, so ... lol.... ANYWAY, A couple of days after she got out of the hospital, I went to her house, and placed in on her neck. She hugged me HUGE, told me how much she loves me, and we got to spend some good quality time together. I felt at peace.. I didn't have that feeling that I struggled with initially. I knew I had been obedient to the Holy Spirit, and I knew HE had a purpose. About a month later, I stopped in to see my favorite Aunt.. once again, she wasn't feeling well, but she was at home, on her oxygen, and just trying to rest. We spent more great time together drinking coffee and talking about every subject from Obama to my baby girl Hollynd who was just loving on her "Grandma" as all my kids call my Aunt Pauline. Right before I got ready to leave, she said she had something for me... She took the necklace off, told me to bend down, and placed it back on my neck. I cried.. I told her NO, the Lord told me to give this to you.. and she told me that her reunion with my momma will be sooner than mine, and I needed to keep it, wear it, and remember that I did what God told me to do... and that's all that mattered. To sum all of this up, I guess I just wanted to say... sometimes letting go of something that means the world to you, does not mean that it is gone forever... God knew what he was doing.. I DECIDED to be obedient, and yet I got my treasure back... now with the memory of my momma wearing it and my UNIE wearing it... the 2 women I love most on this earth.....

The necklace comes with this poem:

Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I'm so alone
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart

I never knew how much I'd grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.

God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we'll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.

He'll turn to joy my every tear
and when I wear this necklace near
it will become my simple way
to treasure our Reunion Day.

The tender hole that remains is in the shape of a tear drop... which reminds me of God's promise that HE will wipe away EVERY TEAR =0)

Thankful

2009-11-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself thinking about ALL of the many wonderful blessings God has given us over the 12 years Sheldon and I have been married.. and even longer.. just the time I've experienced on this earth since birth. It kinda makes me feel a tad guilty that I'm not more thankful more often... especially in the hard times. Found this poem.. thought it kinda fit my mood:

More Than A Day

As Thanksgiving Day rolls around,
It brings up some facts, quite profound.
We may think that we're poor,
Feel like bums, insecure,
But in truth, our riches astound.

We have friends and family we love;
We have guidance from heaven above.
We have so much more
Than they sell in a store,
We're wealthy, when push comes to shove.

So add up your blessings, I say;
Make Thanksgiving last more than a day.
Enjoy what you've got;
Realize it's a lot,
And you'll make all your cares go away.

By Karl Fuchs

Mind/Body/Soul

2009-11-17T19:33:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today.. as I often do when my mind is sooo distracted by physical pain. Funny how something can take such utter control of all of your mind.. changing your daily habits, routines, duties, sometimes just little things like holding your princess for a few minutes... can still create in you a revelation that can become oh say "a light bulb went off moment" or an "A-HA" moment.. or as more correctly put, a small glimpse into the heart of our savior.

I've had neck issues for way too long to remember, to be quick.. it's dumb but hurts, is degenerative, is hereditary, and can be for some a nagging ache, and others.. a harsh reality of daily serious pain in your neck.. which of course can go up to head pain, down to shoulder/hand muscle blah blah blah... like I said DUMB. Anyway.. today I had another fun shot, sometimes they're "annoying" sometimes they're "YOUCH" but today was one of those that rank up with .. hmmm.. ok, not giving birth, but you get my point...lol!!

The great thing is, I cannot be alone for 24 hours (because of the fun stuff through IV) so my dear sweet hubby HAD to take the day off =0) Even in the middle of suckish pain, I find a yippppee..lol. I love a day with Sheldon.. just having him around. So we go to the hospital by 7:30 this morning, miss Hollynd and Brandon in tow.. do our thing.. and sprung and at home by 10 a.m..

As the day went on, the pain STUNK, my entire head/neck/arms/hands/upper back and injection site were SCREAMING at me... but I had this sweet tender voice of my hubby that was making a little princess laugh, who was getting our young preschooler ready for school, who was being very gracious to his sissified wife..lol (I say that with humor..laughing at myself.. because pain stinks, period.. I'm human!!) I came to realize it's an endurance thing.. you endure labor, you endure sorrow, you endure pain...
Endure: in the dictionary you come up with...
1. to hold out against; sustain yielding; undergo
2. to bear without resistance or with patience; tolerate
3. to allow; to bear:

And as I was laying there, I though of our savior's pain... his innocence, something I do not have... his purity, not found here.... his perfection, not in a million years could I claim that one...his willingness to obey, sacrifice, and never say no to God "Not my will but yours"... something that brings tears to my eyes when I think of my own life.. yet another quality I lack in. Yet the pain he went through.. for someone who he knew did not posess a single quality that he had.

And the one verse that the Holy Spirit laid HARD on my heart was...

Hebrews 12:2
Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I CAN do this... with him all things are possible.. and as I enure this physical pain, I thank you Lord that even in this... You bring me closer to you... to your heart.... and as the author and finisher of MY faith... TO YOUR PLAN.

38

2009-11-12T06:58:00.001-08:00

So today I turn 38 years old... seems like a big number, but honestly I have to say these years have FLOWN by! I can't help but wish my momma was here.. to hear her say Happy Birthday, to get that hug and kiss only she can give that warms you from the bottom of your feet to the tip of your head.. to hear her voice, to see her smile, but most of all to hear I LOVE YOU BABY!

I know on your birthday it's usual to focus on your own life.. but I've always thought about what my mom was going through the day she had me... Just 21 days before my birthday my momma and daddy were celebrating my brother Randy's 1st birthday and awaiting my arrival.. my daddy JUST KNEW I was going to be a girl, and he picked out the name Angela (meaning Angel or messenger of God) Christine (meaning Christian or follower of Christ)...mom always told me about how he talked to me, sang to me, kissed her tummy and told me how much he couldn't wait to hold his precious baby girl and how I would be daddy's girl for the rest of my life)... then, 4 days later, he was killed by a drunk driver and momma lost the love of her life, her soulmate, her best friend.. 2 days later she buried the father of her children, her 1 year old baby boy, and soon to be born little one... 15 days later, here I come... I can only imagine the joy and sorrow she felt that day... I was a baby girl, just like he said, and she gave me the name he had picked months earlier (remember this is before sonograms and technology to tell you what you were having).

Words can't explain how blessed I always felt to hear her tell the story of my daddy's love for me.. of course those that know me, know I would cry like a baby, yet at the same time, the love I have for the daddy I never knew became so deeply rooted in my soul that I could feel his love all the way from Heaven every day of my life.

As I grew up and married my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend.. AND became a mommy.. her strength through this tragedy always made me realize that I could make it through ANYTHING that life could throw my way. It made me hold tighter to those I love, made me love deeper and never let anger or bitterness build in my heart.. realizing that you just never know when someone you love can be taken from you.

It is something I think of often when thinking about losing my momma just 9 days after giving birth to Brandon. I think about how excited my mom was when I found out I was pregnant with our "SUPRISE" little guy.. even though I myslef was in SHOCK! How she so sweetly washed and folded all of the clothes that we had for our newest son, how she talked to my tummy and rubbed on it and told Brandon how she couldn't wait to become a Grammie again...

I have to admit that in that time of losing momma and having Brandon, I have never in my life felt the Lord's presence in such a tangible way.. He was my ROCK, my comforter, my shelter, He wiped away soooooo many tears, He whispered to me that everything would be ok, He wrapped me in his loving arms in a way I had never felt before... I was so broken, and it proved true the verse that says God draws near to the broken hearted, those who are broken in spirit. It's then I realized that he did that exact same thing for my momma the day I was born.

So I count all of my blessings each day.. another year I have lived and loved, my boys, my baby girl I never dreamed would be in my life, my family, my church family, my friends, and those I try and show the love of God to each and every day hoping they can see even just the smallest glimpse of him in me.

My handsome Daddy
Me and my BEAUTIFUL Momma

Life

2009-11-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S. And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what is my purpose? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember, things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Now, you have a nice day....And always remember... I LOVE YOU
~ GOD

Teething

2009-11-03T20:24:00.000-08:00

So my sweet sweet little princess has not been too happy at all =0( She has been a cranky pants lately, and after some searching... mommy and daddy discovered she has two little teeth poking through! It's nice to know why she has been so "NOT HAPPY" but at the same time, baby orajel can only do so much!! There have been times I didn't even answer my phone because I knew the person on the other end would not hear ME at all...lol!!! One of those things where you wish you could make it all better, but you know your job is to PRAY PRAY PRAY for the pain to ease, and to try and make her as happy as possible! She has been super attached to mommy.. and I once again have to say THANK YOU LORD for my amazing husband who understands that there are many things that pay the price for her crankiness... the house, the laundry, the dishes... my attitude...lol (YA, I know.. but constant crying can wear on even the most patient of us...lol!) yet he comes in from working all day, and has done some dishes, done some laundry, swept some floors, or just held our crying little Angel and gave her those "magic kisses" that Daddy has! I take for granted soooooo many times that I have such a wonderful husband. I love you baby!!!! I don't tell you often enough how much I appreciate YOU... just being YOU! I am blessed WAY beyond what I deserve when it comes to the hubby area ;0) You are my rock, you are the man most women would love to have, and I'm soooo glad you're ALL MINE!!!!!!

JesUs

2009-11-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

Before U were thought of or time had begun,
God stuck U in the name of His Son.

And each time U pray, you'll see it's true,
You can't spell out JesUs and not include U.

You're a pretty big part of His wonderful name,
For U, He was born; that's why He came.

His great love for U is the reason He died.
It even takes U to spell crUcified..

Isn't it thrilling and splendidly grand
He rose from the dead, with U in His plan?

The stones split away, the gold trUmpet blew,
And this word resUrrection is spelled with a U.

When JesUs left earth at His upward ascension,
He felt there was one thing He just had to mention.

'Go into the world and tell them it's true
That I love them all - Just like I love U.'

So many great people are spelled with a U,
Don't they have a right to know JesUs too?

It all depends now on what U will do,
He'd like them to know, But it all starts with U.

Halloween =0)

2009-11-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah Night was a success!!! Lots of candy, lots of fun.. and some ADORABLE pics!

Brandon =0) What a cutie!!

G.I. Joe... oops, I mean G.I. Gavin

Two happy brothers =0)

Cutest lil Cowgirl in the WORLD!!! Miss Ellie

Forrest Fire Chief Gabe.. and Fairbury Fire Chief Brandon

Hold on to those hats boys... those Firetrucks go FAST!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lil Cowgirl Ellie holding on to Daddy.. not sure what to think of Brandon the Fireman

How cute are they!

Lil Ellie warmed up to the young blue-eyed Fireman

Brandon was eating it up!!! He ADORES Miss Ellie!!!!

Happy Autumn

2009-10-28T10:02:00.001-07:00

H A P P Y A U T U M N!!!

The 7 Ups!

1. Wake Up !!

Decide to have a good day.
'This is the day the Lord hath made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.'
Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up !!

The best way to dress up is to put on a smile.
A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
'The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart.'
I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
God gave us two ears and one mouth,
so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as talking.

'He who guards his lips guards his soul.'
Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!

. . . for what you believe in.
Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
'Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time,
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good...'
Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!

. . to the Lord.
'I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me'.
Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up !!
. . for something higher.
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.'
Proverbs 3:5-6

7.. Lift Up !!
. . your Prayers.
'Do not worry about anything; instead
PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING.'
Philippians 4:6

A POSITIVE THOUGHT

If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring, and a sunrise every morning.

Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen.
He could live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
What about the Christmas gift He sent you in Bethlehem ;
not to mention that Friday at Calvary .
Face it, He's crazy about you.

I thought this was mighty special, just like YOU.
Pass this on and brighten someone's day, and remember . ...

God answers Knee-Mail!

Wishing you a Blessed day!!!

Sickness

2009-10-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

So for the past almost MONTH, we have had some sort of illness going through the house.. from coughs, to sinus infections, to fevers, to Influenza A, to just the plain old body aches and just when you think they're gone... somebody else pops up with another "symptom". Last week, out of the 9 people that live here (our family makes up 6, my brother going through a divorce makes up the other 3 with his kids) there were 7 out of 9 people sick in this house =0( Talk about sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!! I seriously had a medication and fever list... times to give the meds, and times to take the temps and record them... and I was even struggling to keep my mind clear enough to do this since I was one of the sicklies too!!! Yesterday (Sunday) we had prayed and prayed that we would all finally be together in church... oh so close, but didn't happen. Sheldon began running another fever Sat. evening, and Sunday morning was running a high temp again. So he stayed home (though he was on call and still had to go make rounds for work!!) with Brandon who has the horrible cough that sometimes will seriously go on for over 5 minutes NON-STOP and the breathing treatment DID NOT HELP.. it actually made it worse!! Lil Miss Hollynd has not run a fever, she has just had the runny nose, croupy cough and has not been the sweet little girl we know she is ;0) BUT.. Praise God.. so far today I have gotten 3 kids on the bus so far, and 2 left to get on the bus at 11:47. Could this be the day? The hubby is working his early morning day.. he sounds AWFUL but he is fever free so far!! So I'm once again praying and believing that the sickness is GONE GONE GONE! And I don't think I'll answer the phone if the school calls...LOL!!!!!!! Hopefully it's back to the land of the living =0)
Here's a few pics I did manage to snap... usually I'm a camera crazy woman but I don't think anybody was "camera ready" these last few weeks.. but here's a few I did manage to take =0)

Lessons learned

2009-09-26T19:24:00.000-07:00

My mom used to always say... "If you make a mistake, but learn from it... then it is no longer a mistake, it is a lesson learned". Boy oh boy I can loose count of all the lessons I have learned... but God is faithful and just to forgive those mistakes and make them a weapon in my fortress of life-lessons to help those who are struggling with making those same mistakes and show them how the Lord can truly make beauty from ashes... now we just have to be obedient and be honest enough to admit that we too have walked that road, veered off the straight and narrow, honestly messed up, but I've noticed that IF we are willing to be honest, admit our short-comings and show our friends that we too have stumbled, but God himself reaches out his hand and helps lift us up... we give HOPE. And what a beautiful place this world would be if there was more HOPE in it!

Time

2009-09-22T20:20:00.000-07:00

There are times that it feels like a day lasts forever... and there are days that seem to fly by. Then there are times where you're sitting at your computer, knowing you should go to bed, and emotions and memories just overcome you. It's actually quiet... everyone is sleeping... and I am alone (ok, so lil miss is sleeping in the next room... but I am for the most part, by myself).

I saw a friend I haven't seen since 7th grade today.. it was WONDERFUL!!! She came and gave me the BIGGEST hug, and we laughed, and talked, and then came the dreaded moment when she asked how my mom was... I praise God that he has gotten me past the point of breaking at that question. I can now compose myself and answer without tears flooding my face, and sobs sending me into a downward spiral... I really don't even know how many days Sheldon just tucked me into bed crying and told me to go to sleep and when I woke up I would feel better... I don't know what I ever did to deserve the husband that I have. My friend had just told me that she moved her parents up from Texas so they would be closer and she could help take care of them... oh how I miss those days.. fixing her coffee just the way she liked it, making her some peanut butter toast, things now that seem so simple and trivial... yet I would give anything to have those moments back.

It's been 3 years, 5 months , 18 days since I've seen my momma, longer than I ever imagined in my life I would go without hearing her voice, sharing our coffee, watching the kids do silly things.. sharing those mother daughter moments that I so unknowingly took for granted. I can remember when I counted every single day.. every single week, every single holiday, everything... and I actually had to sit and think for a moment exactly how long she had been gone.... God is SO faithful... because even when I was so lost in my grief, in my tears, in my sorrow.. he was holding me the entire time.

This one's for you momma... your favorite song when you found out you had cancer.. the way you told Sheldon to listen to the part about watching an eagle as it was flying because you knew how much he loved eagles and collected them... you always thought of us.. even as your days were ending, it was always us that you worried about and yet you knew... you knew Sheldon would hold me and we would make it... you will never cease to amaze me.. and my love for you still grows stronger everyday until we meet again in Heaven... I LOVE YOU FOREVER

Lots of changes =)

2009-07-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

I've heard many times about the seasons in our lives.... sometimes we think they're going to change in one way.. and then another way comes around =) I really thought our baby season was over.. and here we are at the beginning again, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world!

Some VERY happy brothers =)

She looks like she's smiling ... I think she knows how much littlest brother loves her!!

Boo and his baby sister

Awwwww.....

2009-07-27T20:35:00.001-07:00

So my heart is stolen once again...... this time by a little person in pink instead of blue.......

I feel so blessed that the Lord gives us these tiny spirits to teach about him, to show them how much he loves them..so much more than we are even capable. But mostly I am thankful that the Lord lets me be a part of all of their lives... especially our newest little member =)

Mommy loves you baby girl

Our new little baby girl is HERE!!!

2009-07-19T22:17:00.001-07:00

She's here...all 19 inches of her =)
Princess Hollynd Brooke Carver weighed in at 7 lbs. 8 oz.
We can't wait to bring her home Tuesday!!!!
Our beautiful little girl

So tiny

So perfect

We are soooo blessed =)

Every good and perfect gift comes from above... she's our little Angel

Labory and delivery was awesome! Mom did GREAT and was such a trooper that I was amazed! I LOVE YOU GIRL.. forever I will thank you for this precious little gift that you have given us!

The fight...

2009-07-16T19:43:00.000-07:00

I have to admit there is one subject in my life that I don't budge on.. I know, we're suppossed to be tolerant, we're suppossed to be loving and forgiving.. but this one subject puts me to the test everytime.

The subject is abortion.

I'm so pro-life I should wear a t-shirt everyday that says TAKE MY HAND.. NOT MY LIFE just so people don't think this issue ever truly goes away.

So long story short... I have a close, dear, forever friend.. the kind you can't remember ever not knowing?.. ya know as far back as you have memories, they are in them.

We've been down this road before. She knows how I feel.

Pregnant at 38.. the dad won't be anywhere around and granted she's struggling already with the children she does have, and just making it financially as a single mom... I get the picture, and I love her.. so I do have sympathy.

It took days of conversation, making her look at the baby being a good thing.. not a horrible reminder of a bad decision... at one point, she actually said.. I get that you're a voice for the voiceless, but enough is enough I feel guilty as it is.. I haven't made my decision yet".... I had spoken every word in love.. I had even went as far as to tell her I only speak that honestly with her because I do love her and know her deep inside where she can't seem to find herself becaue of the stress and confusion. But I felt the holy spirit say, just send her a message and say I love you unconditionally and will always be here for you, just like God is for each of us... and I left it alone... and prayed with all my might... for over 24 hours I heard nothing.. got no messages, saw she was on the computer a few times sending messages to other friends of ours... but NOTHING for me... and I never go a single day without something from her.. in my heart I was scared that I had offended her.. had hurt her feelings with the truth.

The day the email came that said she chose to keep the baby, my heart about exploded. I in no way take credit for her decision.. I know the only way in the world she chose to have the baby was that God stepped in... he spoke to her himself... he opened her eyes to the good and made the bad go away even if only for a brief moment for her to see the beauty in the ashes... The exact prayer I had been praying..

I often wonder how loud the saints and the angels and God himself rejoyce when this hard decision is made....

Yet I also know how tenderly and lovingly they receive and welcome those little babies that don't get this chance at life...

Me in a nutshell

2009-07-15T20:41:00.001-07:00

Seriously... this is me

2009-07-10T10:41:00.001-07:00

DIRECTIONS HOME
Really like this one. Someone spent a lot of time on this...
¸//// \\\\, ___________
/__/ _/\_ ____/\
| | | | | | | || |l±±±±|
¸,.-*°´ ¸,.-*~*~*-.,¸ `°*-. :º° *~*~*-..,¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

DIRECTIONS TO OUR FATHER'S HOUSE.
Make a Right onto Believeth Blvd.
Keep straight and go through the Green Light, which is Jesus Christ.
There, you must turn onto the Bridge of Faith, which is over troubled water.
When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight.
You are on the King's Highway - Heaven-bound.
Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost.
Then exit off onto Grace Blvd.
From there, make a Right turn on Gospel Lane.
Keep Straight and then make another Right on Prayer Road.
As you go on your way, Yield Not to the traffic on Temptation Ave.
Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END.
Pass up Envy Drive, and Hate Avenue.
Also, pass Hypocrisy Street, Gossiping Lane, and Backbiting Blvd.
However, you have to go down Long-suffering Lane, Persecution Blvd. And Trials and Tribulations Ave.
But that's all right, because VICTORY Street is straight ahead!
AMEN!!!!!

Life is God's gift to you.
The way you live it.............is your gift to God.

Hello?

2009-06-30T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hello blog world... again... lol =) Life seems to keep getting in the way of certain things, and the blogging has been one of the biggest! So here's a little catch-up...
Brandon is now a new Dole product =)
Gavin spent his first 5 days EVER away from home at camp and LOVED IT!!!
All of my men are healthy, and happy (and soo handsome for their Father's Day picture of 2009)
And here is my Boo.. such a sweet sweet young man.. posing with his Great Grandma

More blogs to follow... I promise =)

A prayer sent to me by a friend

2009-06-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

You never know

When God is going to bless you!!

Good things happen when

You least expect them to !!!!!!!!

Dear Lord, I thank You for this day,
I'm blessed because You are
A forgiving God and
An understanding God.

You have done so much for me
And You keep on blessing me.

Forgive me this day for everything
I have done, said or thought
That was not pleasing to you.
I ask now for Your forgiveness..

Please keep me safe
From all danger and harm.

Help me to start this day
With a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.

Let me make the best of each and every day

To clear my mind so that I can hear from You.

Please broaden my mind
That I can accept all things.

Let me not whine and whimper
Over things I have no control over.

And give me the best response
When I'm pushed beyond my limits.

I know that when I can't pray,
You listen to my heart.

Continue to use me to do Your will.

Continue to bless me that I may be
A blessing to others.

Keep me strong that I may help the weak...

Keep me uplifted that I may have
Words of encouragement for others.

I pray for those that are lost
And can't find their way.

I pray for those that are misjudged

And misunderstood.

I pray for those who
Don't know You intimately.

I pray for those that don't believe.

But I thank You that I believe
That God changes people and
God changes things.

I pray for all my sisters and brothers.

For each and every family member
In their households.

I pray for peace, love and joy
In their homes

And all their needs are met.

I pray that every eye that reads this

Knows there is no problem, circumstance,

Or situation greater than God.

Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.

I pray that these words be received
Into the hearts of every eye that sees it

In Jesus' name. Amen!

The truth!

2009-05-07T23:44:00.001-07:00

“The human voice can never reach the distance that is covered by the still small voice of conscience.”
Mahatma Ghandi

A baby's conversation with God

2009-05-06T20:16:00.000-07:00

New Life

2009-05-05T21:31:00.000-07:00

There's something about a baby being born that really just reminds you of the whole meaning of life... the joy, the pain of bringing new life into this world, the love that you feel when see this new tiny little person who is blessing you by letting you love them.... completely unconditional. They don't care who you used to be.. they don't care how much money you have.. they don't care about anything as long as you love them and take care of them. They are completely dependent upon you... kinda brings into focus the verse in Matthew 18:2.. when the disciples were asking who would be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?? and Jesus answered "I tell you the truth, unless you chage and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Little children love unconditionally, little children love unconditionally, UNCONDITIONALLY~ They trust you, they depend on you, they don't want to leave your side, they love spending time with you, they get excited to tell you things... the way we should be with our heavenly father.

It's not a coincidence that Jesus tells us
"A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. BY THIS ALL MEN WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY DISCIPLES, if you love one another" John 13:34 & 35

Love one another... unconditionally . . . become like a little child . . .

Dylin Nicole Pride ~ 6 pounds 19 inches long... 5/5/09... a new little one to love =)

YIPPPPPPEEEEE....

2009-05-05T06:29:00.000-07:00

Today I will become a "GREAT AUNT"!!!!! What's crazy is I was in the room when my niece was born... 1st up close and personal birth I ever saw =) and today she is having her baby girl!! Can't wait =) =) =) Pics will follow soon!!!

Sometimes....

2009-05-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we assume we know how other people feel...
Sometimes we don't approach a situation because we don't want to feel like we're butting in....
Sometimes we stop ourselves from saying what God wants us to tell other people...
Sometimes we just need courage....
Sometimes we just need SLEEP...lol
Sometimes we just need to stop and smell the lilacs..(ya it's suppossed to be roses, but lilacs were my mom's favorites...and my sweet Gavin brought me some home from his special grandpa Ronnie's house)
Sometimes I have to remind myself to just CHILL OUT!
Sometimes Brandon says I'm "random"...how funny is that coming from a 3 year old...
Sometimes I don't appreciate what I do have because I'm too busy looking at what I don't...
Sometimes I really wished I lived closer to my sister and nieces...
Sometimes I think I know what God's up to and then he suprises me again...
Sometimes I just have a lot of things built up in my head that I need to type...LOL

Mylittle praise and worship man =)

2009-04-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

Brandon plays this song on youtube everyday at least 10 times a day... I love to watch him sit and praise God... lift his hands, sing his little heart out... I think sometimes God sends little messages to me through my sweet 3 year old...

Mercy Me... Jesus bring the rain:

Bring me joy
Bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
and I know they'll be days
when this life brings me pain
but if that's what it taks to praise you...
Jesus bring the rain

Simple truth

2009-04-28T20:04:00.001-07:00

The passion of my soul, the cry of my heart from such a young age is to see Roe Vs. Wade reversed in my lifetime.

Broken

2009-04-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

New favorite song =) BROKEN by Lifehouse
Here's a beautiful live version... hope you enjoy

Feeling blessed

2009-04-26T20:25:00.000-07:00

So many changes are coming our way... some we know about... some we don't. All I do know is that in every way I feel so blessed... blessed with my family the way it is, but excited about what it is going to become =) . . . blessed with my relationship with my husband, but excited as we grow and become more one spirit, yet two people . . . and excited about all the things God has in store that I know nothing about! Maybe it's the spring that's bringing about fresh air and a fresh outlook... BUT maybe just maybe I'm finally realizing why God put me on this earth.

Better to be a poor man

2009-04-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

How many people do we know that fit the 2nd description so much more than the poor man who's walk is blameless...

Better a poor man whose walk is blameless than a fool whose lips are perverse.
Proverbs 19:1

I can goof enough on my own, I don't need help being a fool =)

Matchless

2009-04-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

I looove Aaron Shust =) I was looking up his song "Matchess" on you-tube and found this video that is FILLED with Psalms & Proverbs with way cool pics and images to go along with them! Just wanted to share... the song and the video... hope you like it!

Matchless:

Son of Man, Great I am, King of Heaven,
Son of God, You hold the measure of my days
Holy Lamb, Spotless Lamb, You are worthy, I am not
Before Your throne I stand amazed

Every tongue confess and every knee will bow
To Jesus Christ, the Lord forever, hear our praises now

**CHORUS**
Your name is matchless, Your name is priceless
Your name means more than I could know
You're so far above me, the way that You love me
Goes further than any love could go

Wonderful Counselor, Root of David, Morning Star
You are the Way, the Truth, the Life
Lion of the tribe of Judah, Mighty God is who You are
The only Perfect Sacrifice

In Your name You took the blind man and You gave him back his sight
In Your name You took the dead man and You brought him back to life
In You name You took this prisoner and You opened up the doors
And I will sing before Your throne forever more

My daily bible verse...

2009-04-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

Everyday I get a new Bible verse and it's set as my home-page. So everytime I sign on, I see the same verse over and over. It's a nice way to concentrate on the word, and to be reminded multiple times what a verse really says. So this morning (3:30 to be exact... finally went to bed at a decent time, and my eye balls pop wide open at 3:30???!!!!) the verse reminded me of my last posting about the power of the tongue. Just wanted to share:

He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.
Proverbs 13:3

My own little reminder of what God's really dealing with me about =)

The power of the tongue

2009-04-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

As the boys get older, and as their hearing seems to magically disappear at times (lol).. I've noticed myself raising my voice more often. I realize I am the parent, and at times to get 3 kids attention, your voice has to be raised above the madness and and fun and I have to make it over their noise level. I was really reminded tonight (by an episode of Little People Big World...kinda funny that a great TV show actually shows Amy making Jacob look up verses in the bible about the power of the tongue because he got in trouble for running his mouth... also what a great way to discipline, yet teach the word to them at the same time!) Anyway, a verse that was really brought up into my spirit was the verse that says : "The power of life and death is in the tongue" Proverbs 18:21 We have the ability to speak life or death over our kids, our husbands, our friends, people we meet in the community... such a small small part of our body, yet no where else does it say that the power of life and death is in ANYTHING but the tongue. In James (1:26)it also says: "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless" which pretty much says to me that I can claim to love Jesus all I want, but without a tight rein on my tongue, my religion is worthless... if I cannot keep my tongue and LOVE unconditionally and not always say what may come to my lips ...which isnt always nice ;) I can make my religion seem worthless. Why would anyone want to follow my Jesus if I cut them to pieces with my words.

As a mommy, it seems so easy to watch our mouths with them around.. to try to not speak to harshly, to try to speak words of encouragement to them... now with my husband, that can be a totally different story... he gets it worse than anybody else because I seem to unload on him. I was quite nicely reminded by the Lord that respect goes to every living being... not just the one's I feel like giving it to at that moment. I must say, I have a lot to work on =)~ Pray for me!

Isolation

2009-04-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

There are so things I battle with when it comes to how so many Christians act. We almost isolate ourselves with only believers around us and that's great... but we're to be a light in the darkness... which does mean that eventually you have to be around darkness to let your light shine. I'm not saying that this is an excuse to become a heroin addict, or put yourself in a harmful situation.. but what I am saying is: Is it wrong to go to the bar with your friend... because that's where she wants to go? She knows I go to church, she knows I can pretty much have one beer because of meds I'm on.... she just wants the company. So I then ask myself... is this ok? This is in, but not of... a light in the darkness... BUT then creeps in the thought of "well I heard Angie was at the bar Friday (or Saturday) night..." There is a fine line where you don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone, yet it was Paul who said I become like all so that I might win some. Tight rope balancing act is what is sounds like.. but then again I wonder if I make this more difficult than what it is.... IDK

Memories =)

2009-04-18T20:27:00.001-07:00

I went to the Maundy Thursday service last week, and growing up singing hyms in a Baptist church.. I knew most of the songs that they sang. One song just choked me up and made me cry though. I can remember my mom walking around the house doing different things and singing...

I come to the garden alone... while the dew is still on the roses

and he walks with me and he talks with me
and he tells me I am his own
and the joy we share as we tarry there
none other has ever known

as they started playing this song at the Methodist church... I just broke inside... yet at the same time, I was able to smile and close my eyes and sing along.. I had heard the song so many times I knew it by heart =) I could so faintly hear my mommas beautiful voice singing along. So tonight as I was missing her and thinking about her, I found this on you-tube.. and Alan Jackson was one of my mom's favorite country stars. My sister and I saw him in concert last year with Brooks and Dunn... they were all amazing!!! Hope you enjoy... I know my momma would've loved to have seen this =)

There will be a day

2009-04-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

One of my all time favorite songs... There will be a day by Jeremy Camp
I found this video/deotional on you-tube and was blessed... hope you are too =)

He'll wipe away every tear... My how much our father loves us!

Think about it

2009-04-15T21:49:00.001-07:00

Think about it

if you were born after January 22, 1973 you are a living survivor of the American Holocaust

Heartbreaking

2009-04-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

Beyond all political views .. beyond Roe vs. Wade... lies the truth

Easter Sunday

2009-04-12T19:21:00.000-07:00

I used to just love Christmas (don't get me wrong...I still do!!) but after losing my mom and having Easter fall so very close to her death, I have found a new favorite day of the year =) Today was no disappointment (not that church EVER is).. but Annie signed to the song "Arise my love" and it is always SO powerful when she does her specials. There is something so heart touching to see these signs done to a beautiful song. God gives so many different types of gifts to us and I'm just proud that Annie is obedient (and having a little one doesn't always make that convenient!) because I know so many were touched by her today! Didn't get to hear the sermon (yet...I have a CD) because I taught toddlers today since Cindi was gone for Easter to see her momma. Had a blast with the kids like I always do =) Kids that age are such a riot and so much fun. Thanks to Ashley for her help and company!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!

Happy Birthday Carter

2009-04-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

We had my nephews birthday party to attend tonight... Sheldon ended up staying home (back ouchie) and kept Brandon (who really needed to be in bed WAY before we would've gotten home). So.. it was me and Darian and Gavin. It's been a while since they've had mom all to themselves and especially at a pool =) We had sooo much fun. I showed them that I wasn't lying when I said I could dive (used to be a life guard at church camp during summers.. had my certification and all... WOW that was like 22 years ago... dang I'm getting OLDER..lol) so then mom decides lets pull out the big guns and show them what I used to know.. key word is USED to know... I showed them I could do a back dive. To my shock, it worked out well, but I think I was convinced that it wouldn't and got a butt load of water in my nose. MAN I HATE THAT! at least there was no choking, coughing, or puking involved... but it soooo burns!!!! So I got some mommy points tonight . . Darian and I did the diving board together, and Gavin and I played around a lot in the 3.5 foot water (he doesn't like water in his ears... or face a lot, but praise God he's at least in the water.. that took FOREVER!). I'm just so thankful that God gives us these little tiny babies and they grow so quickly . . . I am truly blessed! Maundy Thursday service was great, Friday night I had some quiet time with Daddy after all the kids went to sleep and we snuggled (he still makes my heart skip a beat even after 12 years) tonight was a great night of fun and silliness with my boys and with the rest of my family (all of us 5 kids were there!!! plus TONS of Carter's friends), and tomorrow is Easter.. my favorite day of all... after you lose someone the ressurection takes on a whole new meaning for you... without that, none of us would have eternal life... He took the keys of Hell, and broke the grip of death forever. I love that Easter is so close to when my momma died... it helps me get through that day by looking forward to Easter where we completely focus on His victory over the grave!

Too cool

2009-04-10T22:35:00.001-07:00

I thought this way so cool I had to share it... I was so amazed at what they can do with sand =)

Hope you were in awe like I was... besides I never get tired of hearing that song
It was one of my momma's favorites!

Some fun...

2009-04-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

Just posting some pics from lately... can't wait for it to get nice out so we can get outside and start walking to the park! The hat Gavin brought back from the lock-in for Brandon (what a sweet brother!!)
Our wonderful weather Sunday night... gone by 4 p.m. Monday
My brother and Brandon at play... he ADORES his Uncle Randy
Brandon knows Aunt Tracy is always good for a sugar fix
My younger brother Jeremy who lives with us and Tessa my beautiful niece
Me and my niece Princess Ariana
I love my family SOOO much.. 2 brothers, 2 sisters and me... wouldn't trade them for anything in this world!

Celebration of Life

2009-04-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

So the 3rd anniversary of losing my mom was Saturday. It's the kind of anniversary that as it gets closer, you want to try and forget it instead of the fun anniversary's that you get excited about. The true blessing was Friday night at the lock in I was talking to Nancy (a sweet friend from our church) who herself is battling cancer. Nancy had no idea that the next day was a day I was dreading because of losing my mom, though she did now that I had lost my mom to cancer. As Nancy and I talked she was telling me that as a person who is looking death in the face yet fighting with all her might to over come this vicious disease she can look at me and tell what a wonderful woman my mom was by the person that I am. She told me to not look at the fact that she is gone, look at all that she gave me while she was here... look at the precious time I had with her, look at the time my boys had with her, and look at the love she put inside of me and the tenderness that she helped instill in me towards others. She said that my mom is not gone, part of her lives on everyday as I live on, and as my boys live on. The memories that we have of the love that she gave will never die.. her love will never die. I think it really took hearing these words of encouragement from a woman who is fighting the battle that my mom lost. She also told me that as a mom, the last thing she wants is for her son to be so sad that she is in HEAVEN. She doesn't want him to spend years of his life wasted in a hole of despair, she wants him to celebrate (IF SHE DIES) that she is with the Lord. Some of this may seem like common sense, but when you lose someone who seemed to be a huge part of what makes your world go round, you lose sight of a lot of things except for the fact that they are no longer here. I guess its a path you have to walk to understand. I told Nancy that the one thing I do know is that God carried me second by second.. minute by minute... hour by hour... day by day ... I learned he truly is always there and will never ever turn his back on me especially in those times of our lives when we cannot take a single step without him holding us up!

Sunday fun

2009-04-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

So church was great today =) It was a huge blessing, lots of encouragement, and revelation. I always knew the daddy role was so important, but the way it was portrayed today made me realize even more why it is so important. I've always been excited about the verse that says "he will turn the hearts of the fathers towards their children, and the hearts of the children toward their fathers".... this has always been important to me because my Dad wasn't really "there" in any way except the physical way. Daddy's love is sooooo special and I love to see my kids get excited when their daddy gets home. I know my role as mommy is important and special, but it is such a blessing when I see my kids with their daddy.. playing, doing homework, just being together as a family. How much easier is it for them to understand their heavenly father's love if they have a daddy here on earth that shows unconditional love! I had to laugh when Darian brought up what Ken said about having a lot of wives, and the suicide rate being high in those cultures! Even Darian at 11 understood and LAUGHED at trying to keep more than one woman happy!!! The lock-in was a huge success and the kids had a blast on Friday (they were a little tired Saturday!) So I thought I'd post some pics I took from the lock-in and let everybody see how many smiling kids we had!!!! God is good =)

NO SLEEP

2009-04-01T21:45:00.001-07:00

I don't know what's up but I just can't sleep anymore. My neck is part of it I know, but this is getting really old REALLY quick!

Fell off the face of the earth...

2009-03-31T22:26:00.001-07:00

So it may seem like I fell off the face of the earth, but the truth is...

* Had some great company from Georgia for a week...how refreshing to see my sweet Hannie =)

* Spring break for the kids...no break for mom ...lol

* Puking and fevers.. seem to run wild through the house all spring break.

* From the above stuff added together = tired mommy ;)

* Went to the doctor today and found out Brandon needs his tonsils removed. Seems the little guy was blessed with ENORMOUS tonsils, which is not good...so Ear Nose & Throat doc appointment is to be scheduled tomorrow when they call.

* Only 4 days till the 3 year anniversary of losing my momma, my best friend, my biggest fan, my sounding board, my rock, my first love.... so be patient if I seem pretty freakin emotional....WARNING....WARNING...(this usually comes out most during praise & worship at church)

Here is my promise to blog more faithfully! Now, as long as I don't end up with a list like above, you should hear more from me more often...lol

Keeping our mouths shut

2009-03-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

Pastor preached a really good sermon today, focusing on our words:

Acts 8:32
He was led like a sheep to the slaughter, and as a lamb before the shearer is silent, so he did not open his mouth.

Matthew 27:12-14
When he was accused by the chief priests and the elders, he gave no answer. Then Pilate asked him, Don't you hear the testimony they are bringing against you? But Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge....

Pastor went on to question how we react ... it says Jesus made no reply, not even to a single charge.... Pastor asked "Have you ever been mis-understood? and after the person has really let you have it, how much does your flesh cry out to jump right back, claws out, ready for a fight."

The point of the his sermon was, sometimes the Holy Spirit will tell you to just BE QUIET, shut that mouth of ours, and make no reply, not even to a single charge.

My Georgia Girl

2009-03-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

I've known Hannah since she was in 5th grade... about 10 years old, I babysat her brother Alex who was 4 at the time, so Hannah would get off the school bus at my house after school and help me and play with all the kids I was watching (one day there were 10 yes TEN kids I was keeping) Normally I had my 2 little guys (Darian was not quite 2 and Gavin was a newborn), Jonathan was age 5 & Justin, Alex & Devin were all 4, and Elizabeth who is about 6 months older than Gavin. Anyway... all that to say, Hannah and I have remained close through all these years. She really is our long lost daughter...she fits in the family soooo well, and I just love being with her (especially coffee time in our pajamas in the morning..lol) She goes home Saturday (boo hoo boo hoo) and I will miss her HORRIBLY!!!!
We've got such a great relationship and she's such a sweet, sweet, loving person. She's one of those people who are SO EASY TO LOVE!!!!!! But I know even when she leaves, we'll stay in touch like we always do, and I just have to be patient until next year when she comes back =) She's so good and patient with kids, and yet such a pleasant young woman to talk to as an adult! I'm gonna miss you Hannie! We've been through thick and thin, and never once have we had any kind of mis-understanding or any problems between us whatsoever. She's never short or snappy or grouchy or vindictive... she loves me no matter what, always has and always will... and the same goes right back to her!!! I adore this girl!! and so do all my boys ;)

Daily Bible Verse

2009-03-17T19:31:00.000-07:00

Every morning I get a new Bible verse for the day. Everytime my computer comes on, my homepage is set to Christ Notes. This was today's verse and it really touched me.

"I will praise you, O Lord. Although you were angry with me, your anger has turned away and you have comforted me. Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation."
Isaiah 12:1-2

I know sometimes I really let God down. And though I know he's compassionate, I know sometimes I feel like He's kinda ticked at me. Here in Isaiah, it first starts with I WILL PRAISE YOU... something I need to remember to keep first in my heart.

Then I like, "your anger has turned away and you have comforted me"... reminds me of when I discipline my own kids, or being disciplined as a child by my momma.

I love the way this verse ends... the LORD is my STRENGTH and my SONG, and my SALVATION.

Especialy on my worst days, I know that He is my strength and my song

THIS IS HOW...

2009-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

John 13:34 & 35
Jesus says:

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

When I start wondering off and thinking I'm making no difference in the kingdom, the Lord seems to always bring me back to this verse. He whispers to me... You want to make a difference? A real difference? Do you want everyone to know that you are MY disciple? Do you want to show the world that your whole life and heart are dedicated to me? Then do this one simple thing Angie.... LOVE

I can still LOVE .. even when I'm broke...lack of money doesn't change that
I have nothing but time on my hands... what better way to spend it
He's given me so much and all he asks in return is LOVE? And this love is shed abroad in my heart by him, He is LOVE. Sometimes I think we make faith to hard...

Pre-K Screening

2009-03-12T20:09:00.000-07:00

Brandon had his pre-k screening today. I have to admit it was pretty cool to watch and see how your child reacts. Here they are brought into a room with a bunch of different kinds of toys....about 4 or 5 adults who are trying to play with them and ask them questions... it's kinda funny. Brandon and I had been talking about him going to "school" for a day so I had been working him up to the thought of playing with other kids and being a big boy. He did pretty well, at first he didn't really want to leave my side...even for all those toys. That didn't take long once mommy walked him over to some toy food and started showing him stuff, then I went back and sat down, and he was fine. It was hilarious though, because #1.. Brandon is funny, he's gotten to where he knows I ask him over and over "what is this?" or what color is this? so now, he's started asking me questions... he'll bring me a letter off the fridge and ask me "what's this?"; "what letter is this?"; "what color is this?". SO, of course ask one of the ladies what asking Brandon what something was, he asked her "what do you think it is?"...lol He finally warmed up some, and did great. There was one puzzle they did that had shapes, and the lady asked him what the shape was that he was putting in the puzzle... he had no problem with the circle, the triangle, the square, and when they brought out the stop sign piece for him to put in she asked him if he knew what it was and he said "octagon".... every adult was speachless, except for one that asked.. Did he really just say octagon?
It's amazing to think he's not even three yet and he went from infant to smart little guy in what seems like the blink of an eye. We'll see about Pre-K, they said he's not "needy" as far as education, so then it depends on how many spots are left open, and he'd be going to mainly learn the routine of school, and help him come out of his little shell. (which doesn't usually take long)
So, either this fall, or next fall he could be going to big-boy school as he calls it. Gosh, where has time gone?

Words of Wisdom

2009-03-10T19:07:00.000-07:00

My momma used to always say "This too shall pass...". All of us kids, and even Amber the oldest of the grandkids holds this saying very close to our hearts. I miss hearing her voice say that as she hugged me in some things I went through in life. She would always somehow point out the lesson in whatever I was dealing with, but at the same time giving me hope and freedom knowing "this too shall pass".. it all goes away baby...big one day, gone the next... her way of saying God's mercies and his grace are new every morning.... he takes it away and forever it will be gone. It's getting close to the three year anniversary of my momma going to heaven, the three year anniverary (birthday) of Brandon coming into our lives. in the blink of an eye

Church

2009-03-08T18:49:00.000-07:00

Today we had a small presentation from our teens who had attended a conference on puppets/black-light specials/dramas...the list goes on and on. Anyway, it was great to hear everyone talk about the conference, but I have to admit it was awesome to watch Jarrad with his illusions. The confidence he showed, the way he flowed with things and had fun was incredible. It's neat to have been going to church here long enough to watch Jarrad turning into this incredible young man who is responsible, intelligent, God-fearing and at such a young age!!!!! Just wanted to give Jarrad some serious kudos he has deserved for a very long time =) (but he secretly knows he's our favorite...lol*******)
Jarrad is sweet enough to sit through a 5th grade musical just for Darian! SUCH DEDICATION =)
(and shows up looking like Dave's wife carrying a diaper bag and.... lol that was SO FUNNY!)

Brandon and Mommy playing while we waiting patiently for Daddy to get done with work so we could go to church...I think that is the first time in FOREVER that Sheldon Carver was late for church (me, that's a whole other story)

Through the motions

2009-03-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

New Matthew West song... Through the motions

the chorus says so much:

I don't want to go through the motions
I don't want to go one more day
without your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't want to spend my whole life asking
what if I had given everything...
instead of going through the motions

I pray Lord for a deeper love..... your all consuming passion

Never too late to say thank you

2009-03-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

I think we take for granted sometimes what a wonderful Pastor we have. His birthday is tomorrow, and it got me to thinking about a time when he didn't have so much gray hair (lol) when we first starting coming to Faith Fellowship...which makes me wonder if we had a HUGE part in his hair graying ;) What a great teacher, friend, mentor, leader, shoulder to cry on.... so many many things. He has been such a blessing to our family... taking us by the hand when mom died, staying with us through Brandon's emergency hernia surgery when he was just 8 weeks old and having somebody else preach that night (it was a Wednesday night) so he could stay with us until everything was done and momma, daddy and baby were back together. The questions I've asked, the questions I've re-asked..lol Life would not be the same without Pastor Kim being such an important man in our lives. I have to say this goes for Jen and Karen too =) It's just not their birthday..lol

Great Book

2009-03-03T20:27:00.000-08:00

As a busy mom I read when I can... I've been working on Max Lucado's "Facing Your Giants" Just wanted to share something that really hit home with me...

"You'll never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have."

These words were spoken by a gentleman who spoke at Max Lucado's church right after he buried his wife, and his daughter was growing sicker by the day....

Having dealt with the emotional roller coaster of losing my mom and having Brandon at the same time, I can remember KNOWING that as I went to sleep crying God was holding me in his arms, and when I woke up, he was the one giving me the strength to face this new life without my momma and learn to take it step by step holding his hand the whole way.

Lord my prayer is that I remain humble before you knowing you are all I need, and that with you I can do all things.

Gotta give kudos..

2009-03-02T20:09:00.001-08:00

Since I'm at home 99 percent of the time, I have to really take this minute to give serious KUDOS and props to those working mommas. I have found that even being surrounded by these same walls 24/7 my laundry piles up, my dishes need done STILL, my house still needs serious spring cleaning done (though we've knocked out 2 rooms so far!!!). I don't know how you working mommies do it...I'm surrounded by it and I can't get it done in a day, yet you working mommies manage to squeeze in everything I do and have a whole other life to juggle. I love being here with my boys, I love being here while Brandon grows up, but I look up to you young and not so young ladies who everyday go and deal with an outside world that sometimes I'm really glad I can keep my door shut from! Just wanted to give a pat on the back to all of my great friends who do sooooo much!

The winter yuckies...

2009-02-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

Seems like it's been one thing after another for a while around here... I watched my nephew who had strep for Thursday and Friday of the previous week, and that whole week Brandon had "goopy eye" just nasty, so crusty when he would wake up you would seriously have to pull them open for him to see. We spent a lot of time with warm washclothes and his little eyes. Then he also had just a little naggig cough. No fever, just a cough here and there. So Monday comes around and his cough kept him from napping at all that day. Monday night was cough-fest #2, and he seemed to be struggling sooo hard just to catch his breath in between coughing. Called our wonderful doctor Tuesday, they said bring him in tomorrow..lots of nasty stuff is going around right now. So our trip to the doctor on Wednesday confirmed that little Brandon has an Upper Respiratory Infection... now he's on the antibiotic zithromax, liquid steroid, breathing treatments every 4 hours, and antibiotic eye drops for his little eyes. (Pics to follow soon, he looks adorable in his little mask). He's been such a little trooper. He takes his medicine so well, he's watched his big brother take breathing treatments for as long as his mind can remember, so he feels like he's being a big boy. God we know you are our healer and we believe for Brandon's healing...thank you for the doctors you give us for guidance. I thank you Lord for Dr. Lemmert who is a bold and wonderful Christian doctor. Thank you Lord for your healing hand on Brandon and I pray Lord for your hand on Darian as he has been struggling today with a cough that you would just touch him as he sleeps..... Thank you Father for caring about us in such a passionate and amazing way.

Just thinking

2009-02-22T19:34:00.000-08:00

What a gift having kids really is. Sure it's tough, sure it's exhausting, sure sometimes it is very non-rewarding (puke clean-up, diaper duty), but we are shaping our future when we raise our children. Truly, we are raising the next generation to witness about God's glory..his kindness, his goodness, his faithfulness. BUT, if I never speak about his goodness, his kindness, his faithfulness... if they don't see me walk out my relationship with the Lord, how will they know how to do it themselves? Repetition, showing them things over and over... that's how they learn to count, to say their abc's, to learn their colors, to do everything in life they need to survive. Yet the most important survival guide I can give them is their relationship with the Lord...do I model this as much as I should be?

Girl Time =)

2009-02-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

I had some wonderful girl time today...no kids, no hubby ... no guys at all, just me and my wonderful friend Laura. I think that's enough said, for any woman who is a mommy understands the thrill of some time out with a friend =) To my friend Laura, I couldn't have asked for a more understanding, encouraging, honest and open friend. I love you to pieces ...and your little monkies have stolen my heart too ;)
Your family's love and friendship and prayers mean more to us than you will ever know!! Can't wait for our movie date!

Simply friends

2009-02-20T20:21:00.000-08:00

We had a WONDERFUL homemade pizza night with our friends Pat & Christine (and their 5 kids, with our 4 kdis... they so outnumber us...lol) Thanks for all the hard work Christine, and next time, my house, my dirty dishes, and me slaving over a hot stove. What a blessing it is to be able to just get together and fellowship. So much laughing, so much talking, just such a huge blessing. It will always amaze me the people that God brings into our lives... people who love us knowing all their is to know about us. Isn't that really what Jesus truly wants us to be... to do.... Get together, talk about how he's blessed us, or the struggles we're having, get encouragement from one another, and give Him all the glory. Loving each other even if you know the ugliest sin that person has ever felt guilty about... forgiveness, compassion, love, gentleness... but thank God he has a sense of HUMOR and lets us laugh till it hurts sometimes!!!

5th grade musical..

2009-02-17T19:54:00.000-08:00

So Darian had his 5th grade musical... he did awesome just like I knew he would! His "rapping" solo was great, he looked adorable as an old dead composer (no rotting flesh, just "white" hair.. which was hairspray & baby powder if anybody ever wants white hair. Dave & Jarrad came, so I go little Miss Jaiden all to myself...she even ended up falling asleep =) oh the joy of those little ones! Just wanted to say good job Boo, and good job to all the kids & teachers who put so much time and work into these things!!

Happy #11 Birthday Boo =)

2009-02-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day at church.... great teaching, great praise and worship, great fellowship. Then, at 2 we had a family birthday party for Darian. It's hard for me to believe that my oldest is turning 11...actually it's the 16th (we just had his party the 15th for family to be able to come). So, at 1:11 tomorrow, my baby boy entered this world. I still remember exactly what he looked like when he was a newborn. I remember the excitement of having my first baby. I remember the terror of having my first baby...lol =) I just have to say that I know God makes each of us unique in every way, and I couldn't have picked out a better young man in everyway. His spirit is gentle, his sense of humor is hilarious and quirky (just like I love it!!)his sense of loyalty and family is like no other. To my Boo... you will always be my first, you will always be my oldest, yet you will always be my baby. Momma loves you buddy!My beautiful momma & Boo
My handsome jokester!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T20:24:00.000-08:00

The sweetest thing the other day... Gav & I went to the store to get a few things & pick up an ointment the dr. called in for him. As we were leaving the drug store, there were a lot of Valentine's things around up front.. boxes of chocolates in the shape of hearts, hearts this, hearts that... and when we got in the truck to leave Gavin quietly tells me, "Mom I'm really sorry I couldn't get you anything for Valentine's Day".. to which my heart melted, and I told him "You give me love and hugs and kisses every single day, not just one special day out of the year. What you give me everyday is so much better than any kind of a gift you could have given me to celebrate this one day." It was sweet to see where his heart was...he's such a giver and is growing and learning to think about other people first.

Here's special kudos to the world's best babysitter in the world.... Ms. Shelb's you've won the heart of the young Carver men here at home as well as at church. Thank you for the sweet words about the boys and how well they behaved. It always makes mom and dad proud to hear their kids are respectful and helpful and just plain fun to be around. BUT, it takes a speical person who is loving, patient, kind, and who really listens to them and cares for this to work both ways =) and my dear, you take the cake!!!! Thank you for letting us be in your life and for you being as special as you are to the boys and to us also. You have the sweetest spirit. I love being around you!!

And finally to the hubby... 12 years, 12 Valentine's Days together, and I will never take for granted the ways you show me you love me .... your respect towards me, your patience with me, your gentleness with me, your always loving and forgiving heart. You truly are my Prince Charming ;) And they lived happily ever after...

Facing your giants..

2009-02-11T20:02:00.000-08:00

Susie gave me a book that she thought I would really enjoy. Max Lucado (one of my ALL TIME FAV writers) wrote this book called "Facing Your Giants". It shows our lives struggles and compares them to David facing Goliath, and to a lot more of David's life. It's a must read...only on chapter 4 and am already hooked (and being a mommy of a almost 3 year old doesn't give you the best opportunity to read!)

A couple of things I'll share that have touched me so far:

~ Rush your giant with a God saturated soul...David spoke of God, not about how big Goliath was

Focus on giants .. you stumble
Focus on God .. your giants tumble.

Are you as likely to describe the strength of God as you are the demands of your day?

God does not see the same way people see... People look at the outside of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart (1 Sam. 16:7)

God examines hearts, and when he finds one set on him... He calls it, and He claims it!

Linger too long in the stench of your hurt, and you'll smell like the toxin you despise.

All of this is such few chapters. I'm excited to finish it =) Such wonderful wisdom and encouragement. Lastly, the book also points out David's many flaws..his adultress affair, having the husband sent to the front lines to be killed, many many times David fell, yet his heart was pure... it even says that David was a man after God's own heart... Gives us all hope that we don't have to be perfect, we just have to be willing and Love the Lord with all of our heart, soul, and mind.

Change

2009-02-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

It's funny how change sometimes can seem a little frightening, and other times you look so forward to the change that is coming =) So many changes are happening right now and I thank God that he does give us blessing upon blessing in so many different ways, and that no matter how our circumstances change, HE NEVER CHANGES. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. MY ROCK in times of change.

Remembering the night...

2009-02-09T19:20:00.000-08:00

So Feb. 13th is the day Sheldon and I first met... 1997. This is the first year in FOREVER that we're actually going out with great friends and celebrating Valentine's Day which to us has always been wrapping these two days into one. We celebrate Valentine's Day and we celbrate the day that God brought our two lives together. It is funny how God can take a young girl from a little town called Fairbury Illinois, and take a young man from a little town called Morenci Arizona, and have them meet and fall in love in Cartersville Georgia. Now our lives are so interwoven into our community and church here, we know this is our home... a home that we just so happened to sign the papers on, Feb. 14th 2006 (a wonderful Valentine's Day gift if I do say so myself) God is soooo good to us. I was thinking today about how little he really wants from us. Yes, he wants ALL of us, but at the same time he wants us to just know that HE is there all of the time with His hand reaching towards us for Him to guide us in the path we should go...all we have to do is look for him (if you seek me, you will find me). I heard a short message on Jonah, and how the seas were horrible and tossed until he surrendered and threw himself overboard and the storm ceased... and the speaker said, that so is our life... our life is horrible and tossed and we are on a sinking ship until we throw ourselves overboard to God and to His will for our life...instead of running like Jonah did at first, THEN following where God was sending him, we should run to God and surrender everything to Him and follow His will for our lives. Made me think...

Church today

2009-02-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I'm convinced that God gives us special little moments with our kids that melt our heart back to being soft. This world has a tendency to go straight for the heart, wound us, try and break us... Then you have this little person that you love more than anything in the world... it doesn't seem to matter what age they get to, they still have that effect on the momma's heart =) Something they say, something they do, something special that just warms you from head to toe. Today during church Gavin (our 9 year old) was standing with me, arms around me as always (he's always been a clingy or touchy kinda kid) and we were doing some of our Praise and Worship songs. I heard his sweet sweet voice sing as his arm was around my waist, and we sang together in perfect harmony. I felt like I had been given this gift... this special touch from Heaven as I closed my eyes and sang with my son, and with my heart.

Mixed emotions...

2009-02-07T17:53:00.000-08:00

My weekend so far has been crazy.... It was kind of a full week too with dr's visits and procedures, the young ladies from our youth group kept me up at our sleepover on Friday night =) Which was a blast... it is such a reminder that I am not 20 anymore...lol Took Jonathan to the airport and said goodbye to a young kid who I think is making a big leap with little thought... I'm so tired I can't sleep (tried napping today, didn't work!!) The funny thing is Darian & Gavin are sleeping over at Bob's with Tristan tonight, my little brother and my niece & nephew are all gone.... it's actually QUIET ... I mean crazy QUIET!!! It's just me, Sheldon and Brandon and they're both knocked out already. Sometimes just peace and quiet is really all you need ;) Turning in early (to try and be recovered from Friday) since we have a Fellowship Dinner Sunday. Way to go babe for making spaghetti for 60 people while I drove to Bloomington =) You amaze me everyday!!We'll miss you Jonathan

It is well...

2009-02-05T18:43:00.000-08:00

Some old hymns just bring back so many memories...being young, innocent, drawn to God...before serious peer pressure, and wories of being an adult, parenthood etc... took over... back so long ago it seems, yet hearing some of these hymns I can close my eyes and be taken back to such a tender age of innocence.....

Writing again

2009-02-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

His Word never changes
though my circumstances do
His love never wavers
no matter what I go through

His arms never let go
they're always held tight
His weakness is stronger
than the strongest man's might

His forgiveness is free
all you must do is ask
His gentle hand peels back
all the layers of your mask

His Holy Spirit fills you
from your head to your toes
His whisper will guide you
in this world where to go

The only thing He asks
is simply for us to LOVE
in a way that shows everyone
that it's sent from above =)

Little tykes =)

2009-02-02T18:56:00.000-08:00

I have always from as long as I can remember LOVED babies. Had tons of baby dolls, always played that I was a mommy taking care of her babies. I get more joy out of watching kids play than any tv show I've ever seen, movie I've ever seen... I mean you can go from comedy, to drama, to violence, to love story all within a 1 minute exchange between small kids...lol

So today I babysat for two of the cutest kids that are on the face of this earth!! I forgot to take my camera to get some pictures of Brandon's "play-date" while mommy babysat. Things went soooo well. The kids played so hard and all slept so hard for their naps ;) As odd as it may seem it's kinda nice to get out of the house even if it is staying inside at somebody else's house... does that make sense? I guess even just the change of scenery in another home during winter can make you feel good!!

Special thanks to my buddy Laura, thanks for letting us be a part of your lives =)

Happy #7 to my Sweetheart

2009-02-01T19:01:00.000-08:00

As a momma to 3 boys, I have to admit that I ADORE my nieces =) I get to finally have someone "girly" around when I'm used to a house full of really loud and usually odd smelling noises. My sweet, sweet Ariana turns 7 in just a couple of days and we went to her birthday party on Saturday. Of all the little girls in my world, this one can put a smile on her Sissy's face unlike any other. I was blessed with being there through most of her daily life for right at 3 years. She really was the little girl I never gave birth to ;) So, to look back on 7 years as we drove to her party was pretty emotional... I could still picture the exact night she was born as I drove home from the hospital and it was snowing and everything was so beautiful and peaceful (it was crazy crazy early...lol that's the only time Joliet is peaceful!!), now she's turning 7. How fast life truly does go. Here's to my big girl... You will forever be my princess, and I will forever be your Sissy =)
I LOVE YOU!!!

Tomorrow...

2009-01-31T20:04:00.000-08:00

I am convinced that tomorrow Pastor Kim will be speaking directly to me... I feel like I've lost it this week in just about every area from patience, to forgiveness, to gentleness, I could go on and on, but I'm sure you get my point. I have apologized more this week for my crappy attitude than I have in I don't know how long!! Sheldon is sweet and adds that my hormones are crazy from pre-menopause (man, I don't even know if I just spelled that right..lol). To be honest I have to call my sister tomorrow and let her know what he preaches on because she thinks this is hilarious and knows that tomorrow I will be this big ball of tears.... what a good sis I have... =) Anyway, I'm excited about going to church and Praise and Worship, and Pastor's teaching...I love church.... but Sheldon offered to let me wear his steel-toed boots to church tomorrow so Pastor doesn't "step on my toes" too much....LOL.... I'm so glad that God has a sense of humor!!!

Those "fun" days

2009-01-29T18:44:00.000-08:00

You know those days where everything seems to go to crap? I mean everything that you seem to put your hand to, turns to mush...not gold. The one day that you just want to crawl into bed and shut the world out even if only for a few hours. AND NO, OF COURSE NOT.... it ends up that no matter how far under those blankets you want to crawl....out you have to come. Thus being a grown-up I guess (when did that happen??) All I know is you can have the best of intentions and still let people you love down, though that's the last thing in the world you ever want to do.... you can try your best in hard family situations to do things that may not be popular, but are right... I guess we're all human, and no one is perfect. . . . yet we blame ourselves. Ahh, at least there is bedtime, where we wake up with a promise that his love and grace and mercy and forgiveness are new every morning =)

His grace is sufficient

2009-01-28T17:47:00.000-08:00

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

His grace.... His power is made perfect in my weakness... praise God

Sometimes life throws so many things at you that you don't know which way you're going ... especially as a mommy of 4 wonderful boys who run me ragged daily =)

The last part of the verse is my prayer... that Christ's power may rest on me.
So, I guess it's really time "to boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses"

kinda humbling....

Simplicity

2009-01-26T18:47:00.000-08:00

Some people judge their life by the things that surround them, things they've bought, their cars, their houses, their "big-boy toys"... we have so much at our fingeritps now more than ever. Can you stop and remember the last time you didn't have to make sure you had your cell phone? Can you remember the last time you didn't have to check your calender to see when exactly you can squeeze in some time with a friend?

I know we all have things to do, things we HAVE to do, things we're involved in that take commitment, and I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that... it just makes me think back to a different time in life...

A time when we got excited to see cousins pull into the drive way at the farm because it meant more kids to play with.

A time when going on a tractor ride to spread manure was something exciting...lol

A time when family reunions were planned each year, instead of every 10 years.

A time when I can remember my momma always being in the kitchen canning something or baking something or cooking something, but always having time to stop and kiss a boo boo or for the crazy questions we had or just for a hug and a quick I love you.

Simple times, simple memories at the time that turn into your most prized memories of all =)

The Good Old days

2009-01-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

I realize that 37 is a far cry from 20... but I still remember being 20 =) I guess it just amazes me how much our world has changed since I was a "young" girl. Respect is fading... I hear kids talk to their parents in ways that back in the day, you would've been picking out a switch or picking yourself up off the ground. Morals are too wishy-washy... back then you knew that GOD was watching, now they don't seem to care. We used to watch out for the younger kids all the time, it wasn't an option, it was your DUTY as a bigger kid. You suffered consequences which today's teens now loose their cell phone, or their computer for a few days. It makes me miss my momma even more. I thank God everyday that she brought us up to respect our elders, to treat each and every person the same, no matter if they were rich or poor. We were taught to pitch in and make things a team effort as brothers and sisters, things got done a whole lot faster that way. We were taught respect for other people's things...if it's not yours, don't mess with it. Doors were held open for women, men didn't cuss around the ladies, and the ladies just didn't cuss period. Your children were your true prize posession, money could come and go, things could be hard, but as long as we had each other, we were more than just fine, we were HAPPY =)

Favorite Church song..

2009-01-24T20:53:00.000-08:00

One of my fav all time songs from Church won't leave my head today

The song is "He is Here"

It talks about how Jesus is here in our midst
in His power, in His glory, in His demonstration he is here

He's the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end

He's Savior, Healer, our kinsman redeemer

All powerful, all loving, everlasting, all forgiving

He's the heavy load bearer, broken heart repairer, Son of God, Son of man, Prince of Peace, Great I AM, sanctifier, Holy One, Righteous One, Redeeming Son, restorer, provider, repairer, reviver...HE'S JESUS

What a great reminder in ONE song as to how many precious things He will be to us if we will only let him!!!

Unique in every way =)

2009-01-24T10:31:00.001-08:00

How awesome is it that God made each of us so different... I think about my boys and bugs for instance:
Darian, not a bug lover whatsoever, was actually deathly afraid of flies at age 2
Gavin, has brought me bugs to show me how cool they look, but if it's a bee, he won't go outside until days have gone by and there is no sight of it whatsoever.
Brandon, has never shown any type of interest in bugs, doesn't care if he sees one, doesn't care at all even if they're big or small, just give him the computer and he's a happy happy boy...lol
Their thoughts, their hearts, their struggles, their abilities, their curiousness, their ways of showing affection, their heard-headedness(like daddy..lol), everything so unique in every way yet they come from the exact same parents, raised the exact same way, and shown the exact same examples.... I truly believe that as your children grow, you become more and more amazed at how we truly are his unique handiwork =)

Be still

2009-01-23T20:18:00.000-08:00

Be still and know that I am God. Psalms 46:10a

Headaches...

2009-01-23T06:00:00.000-08:00

So I made it until about 5 last night before I decided that I needed to go to the ER for this crippling headache that had me MISERABLE yesterday. I realize that with my neck problems, this is kinda par for the course, but HOLY COW that was a doozie =( So after about 4 hours, 2 shots and some perscriptions for today I was home. I have to admit that when I went to bed last night, I still had a headache, and yet still this morning it seems to building once again. Good news ~ I see my neck doctor Tuesday and hopefully they have a new plan of attack on this situation. Please pray for me, headaches can ruin your day with pain!! Sorry to just complain, I know there are so many people going through so much worse sometimes I feel like I'm just a complainer.

Love

2009-01-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life hurts.
Sometimes it doesn't seem like you get any kind of say-so whatsoever.
Sometimes life is totally unfair.
Sometimes other peoples actions affect your life and you can do nothing about it.
Sometimes the love in your heart is underestimated.
Sometimes the hardest route to choose is the right route.
Sometimes you are just plain misunderstood.
Sometimes you wonder how such deep feelings of love can be stirred at the glace of a picture.
Sometimes you wonder if anyone truly understands.

ALWAYS I know that God is in control.
ALWAYS I know that He loves me.
ALWAYS I know that He guides my every step.
ALWAYS I know that He understands.
ALWAYS I know that He will never leave me or turn His back on me.
ALWAYS I know that He is the creator of EVERYTHING big and small.
ALWAYS I know that LOVE NEVER FAILS

Winter...

2009-01-19T06:37:00.000-08:00

Winter seems to bring these funky sicknesses that are striking everyone. From the smallest, to the biggest. My prayer is that EVERYONE dealing with any type of sickness will feel the hand of God upon them and his healing power will be an amazing testimony to anyone and everyone involved. And to my little buddy Gabe, you have the sweetest smile, the softest voice, the most amazing little eyes, and such a pure heart... for you I pray for an extra touch from God, one that makes all of your yuckies go away FOR GOOD!!! I love you little guy, and your momma & daddy & Ellie too... so many people are praying for you, and I feel blessed to be one of them! GET WELL SOON MY LITTLE FRIEND =)

slacker...

2009-01-14T20:59:00.000-08:00

So I've been slacking on maintaining my blog... we've been through a week of the pukes in our house. As this was going on, I felt like God kept bring me to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

There are so many different things in these few verses that I have truly spent a lot of time lately meditating on. Love is patient...hard to be when you've been puked ON for a week; Love is kind....hard to be when you're tired and cranky from lack of sleep. I could go on and on through every point it makes about what Love truly acts like and then find where I can do so much better. I tell myself that I am here to instill the Love of God into my children, and if I can't show them how I'm called to love them, then how will they understand what Love walks like, and what Love talks like, and what Love does and does NOT do! All I can say is pray for me =)

Little Prayer Warrior

2009-01-06T18:53:00.001-08:00

It's amazing to watch your kids grow.... it's great to see the relationships they're developing... some by force, most by love ;) I know it seems I always brag about Brandon, but this kid truly is amazing. He started a couple of months ago asking if he could say prayer at our meal, so Sheldon would tell him a short prayer, and Brandon would repeat it.... NOW, Brandon prays at our meals all by himself... he says thanks for the food, thanks for the day, he prays for a good nights sleep, he goes on and on.. it's so ADORABLE and then he started just walking around or when he's laying down in the evening to go to bed, he just starts praying. This truly has been a lesson to me in the argument of "I don't have time to pray"... Brandon has shown me how we can pray whenever we want no matter where we are, outloud for everyone to hear and it really is just opening up and talking to God. I believe this also shows how often Brandon thinks about God.... faith like a child

TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED =0)

Discipline

Babies...

A new version of footprints in the sand...

More Beautiful You

New Year's Eve.. 2009 - 2010

Moments..

A baby's conversation with God

Christmas time...

The BIG DAY

Up and going EARLY..

The little things =0)

What I've REALLY learned...

Grandpa from Arizona =0)

***PRAYER REQUEST***

The Reunion Heart Necklace

Thankful

Mind/Body/Soul

38

Life

Teething

JesUs

Halloween =0)

Happy Autumn

Sickness

Lessons learned

Time

Lots of changes =)

Awwwww.....

Our new little baby girl is HERE!!!

The fight...

Me in a nutshell

Hello?

A prayer sent to me by a friend

The truth!

A baby's conversation with God

New Life

YIPPPPPPEEEEE....

Sometimes....

Mylittle praise and worship man =)

Simple truth

Broken

Feeling blessed

Better to be a poor man

Matchless

My daily bible verse...

The power of the tongue

Isolation

Memories =)

There will be a day

Think about it

Heartbreaking

Easter Sunday

Happy Birthday Carter

Too cool

Some fun...

Celebration of Life

Sunday fun

NO SLEEP

Fell off the face of the earth...

Keeping our mouths shut

My Georgia Girl

Daily Bible Verse

THIS IS HOW...

Pre-K Screening

Words of Wisdom

Church

Through the motions

Never too late to say thank you

Great Book

Gotta give kudos..

The winter yuckies...

Just thinking

Girl Time =)

Simply friends

5th grade musical..

Happy #11 Birthday Boo =)

Happy Valentine's Day

Facing your giants..

Change

PRAYER REQUEST