I know on your birthday it's usual to focus on your own life.. but I've always thought about what my mom was going through the day she had me... Just 21 days before my birthday my momma and daddy were celebrating my brother Randy's 1st birthday and awaiting my arrival.. my daddy JUST KNEW I was going to be a girl, and he picked out the name Angela (meaning Angel or messenger of God) Christine (meaning Christian or follower of Christ)...mom always told me about how he talked to me, sang to me, kissed her tummy and told me how much he couldn't wait to hold his precious baby girl and how I would be daddy's girl for the rest of my life)... then, 4 days later, he was killed by a drunk driver and momma lost the love of her life, her soulmate, her best friend.. 2 days later she buried the father of her children, her 1 year old baby boy, and soon to be born little one... 15 days later, here I come... I can only imagine the joy and sorrow she felt that day... I was a baby girl, just like he said, and she gave me the name he had picked months earlier (remember this is before sonograms and technology to tell you what you were having).
Words can't explain how blessed I always felt to hear her tell the story of my daddy's love for me.. of course those that know me, know I would cry like a baby, yet at the same time, the love I have for the daddy I never knew became so deeply rooted in my soul that I could feel his love all the way from Heaven every day of my life.
As I grew up and married my soulmate, the love of my life, my best friend.. AND became a mommy.. her strength through this tragedy always made me realize that I could make it through ANYTHING that life could throw my way. It made me hold tighter to those I love, made me love deeper and never let anger or bitterness build in my heart.. realizing that you just never know when someone you love can be taken from you.
It is something I think of often when thinking about losing my momma just 9 days after giving birth to Brandon. I think about how excited my mom was when I found out I was pregnant with our "SUPRISE" little guy.. even though I myslef was in SHOCK! How she so sweetly washed and folded all of the clothes that we had for our newest son, how she talked to my tummy and rubbed on it and told Brandon how she couldn't wait to become a Grammie again...
I have to admit that in that time of losing momma and having Brandon, I have never in my life felt the Lord's presence in such a tangible way.. He was my ROCK, my comforter, my shelter, He wiped away soooooo many tears, He whispered to me that everything would be ok, He wrapped me in his loving arms in a way I had never felt before... I was so broken, and it proved true the verse that says God draws near to the broken hearted, those who are broken in spirit. It's then I realized that he did that exact same thing for my momma the day I was born.
So I count all of my blessings each day.. another year I have lived and loved, my boys, my baby girl I never dreamed would be in my life, my family, my church family, my friends, and those I try and show the love of God to each and every day hoping they can see even just the smallest glimpse of him in me.
My handsome Daddy
Me and my BEAUTIFUL Momma
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