My Savior, My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior


My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior loves, My Savior lives

Brandon is on this kick of REPEATEDLY watching this video... I love this song, so it doesn't bother me that he watches it probably 30 times in a day...lol =) And honestly, I love it that my not even 2-1/2 year old hunts down this video and always tell me...mommy, it's aaron shust, aaron shust... It's funny how technically young Brandon is, but he can pick out artists when he hears a song start... he can tell you when it's Skillet, Third Day (and he always says, Third Day..Mac Powell. (mac powell is the lead singer, I told him that ONCE!)), Toby Mac, Aaron Shust...I could go on & on, there are so many singers & bands that he recognizes and tells me exactly who it is that is singing the song I've chosen... Anyway, that completely side-tracked me...(I am still blonde at heart)...

About this video and this song... there are so many things that I've thought about as I hear (and naturally have to sing a long with because it's playing) this over and over....

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
This part of the song soooo reminds me, that I am not even close to knowing God's "big picture"... his will is far more intricate than my human mind can comprehend, yet the next part of that verse says:

I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
This is such a real picture to me, that as I look at the right hand of God, stands the one man who understands me better than I understand myself... my Savior... the one who gave more to me than I will ever be able to repay, and His love is deeper than what my human heart can comprehend

That he would leave his place on high...and come for sinful man to die...
What a loving, forgiving, and holy God we serve that he would send his son to take upon himself the sins of you and I and of this world....

I am so humbled by the greatness of love that Jesus has for us, I never want to become somehow numb to that, I want that to be what makes me different in this world where everyone is looking for that light that shines through you because of the son that you have inside of you. Lord help me to be your tool, help me to stay loving, kind, forgiving, a peacemaker..... all those things Lord which you call us as women and daughters of the most high to be. But most of all let me show your spirit that will reach out and touch those whose spirits are hurting, lonely, and just lost Lord. Help me to reach out in love and share what you have so unselfishly given me.

My bestest friend

I've had this certain best friend for going on 12 years. I never imagined that anyone could know so much about me and still love me. I never imagined that my heart would trust someone so much that I could tell him ANYTHING and know that he would hold me when somehow my mind would think that what I've told him would make him push me away. I never imagined that he could look at me and tell if I've had a good day or a bad day within two seconds of seeing my face after coming home from work. I never imagined that he would be able to hear a crack in my voice and know if it's because I'm tired, or because I'm upset, or because of some sort of aggrevation. I never imagined that looking in his eyes even after 12 years would still make me weak in the knees. I never imagined that I could possible love him more than I did the day that we got married, but when I watched him become a real caring and loving daddy, and a husband who puts his wife first in all situations, and watched him become a godly man who loves to hear the holy spirit and be obedient to that still small voice and watch God do his handi-work, I saw a new man, more than just the best friend I had, more than the handsome man I married, more than a good guy..... he became my knight in shining armor, my prince charming, my Sir Lancelot, but he has always stayed MY BEST FRIEND. Baby, I love you more every day. I'm excited to see how God is using you and I love to watch you grown in your Faith which makes me strive to grown in my Faith too. You are my best friend. Through the last two years you carried me when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for meaning "till death do us part" and "for better and for worse". I will love you until the end of time, and when time ends here, eternity begins in Heaven.... you are SO STUCK WITH ME =)

(What I thought was the happiest day of my life, turned out to be JUST THE BEGINNING!)

I love you forever =)

Family...nothing better =)

So my little brother started staying with us yesterday. Him & his wife are going through a divorce, and he's got 2 beautiful kids, so he needed somewhere he could stay where he could safely bring his son Logan Rush(7) and Tessa Rayne(3) to stay with him any chance he gets. Ok, I say he's my little brother, but he's actually TALLER (and very broad...he's a strapping young man...lol) than I am even though I'm 8 years older than he is!! I hate what they're going through, but I have to admit that I LOVE having my brother around. We've always been close, but to be honest I left home at 17, fresh out of high school, so he was only 9. I lived in another state for most of the years he spent growing up. We still got along great whenever we were around each other, and he really taught me to quit caring so much what people thought about me or what they would say about me. He's never been one to really care if he had "everyone's approval", and I seemed to be the exact oposite thinking I had to please EVERYONE all the time. I love him so much, he's always been such a good brother to me, always sweet, we've never had a fight about anything (just like me and my older brother).... Thank you Lord for 2 brothers that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Thank you for Jeremy and help me Lord have the words from you to comfort him, help him and guide him in your ways. But most of all God, thank you for my whole family. Sometimes we forget how blessed we are to have people around us who love us unconditionally just like you do!!!

The Reunion Heart

I can still remember the day my momma and I were shopping together. This was probably about 4 years ago. We stopped at one of my favorite stores in the world, Family Christian Bookstore in Joliet (this is when we still lived up there). I still remember her telling me to come look at this necklace she found and the poem that went along with it. The necklace is a very simple looking silver necklace with a heart pendant, but in the heart there is a tear drop hole in it. It's called The Reunion Heart. My mom actually had tears coming down her face and said how much she loved this piece of jewelry (and it was NOT expensive at all!). She said it made her think of my daddy who went to heaven two weeks before I was born because of a drunk driver. Momma had my older brother Randy who had just turned 1 on October 22, 1971.. and she was 9 months pregnant with me when my daddy was driving home from work around midnight and was clipped on the rear end of his car by the drunk driver and his car ended up wrapped around a tree. This was October 26, 1971.



For Christmas I told my sister Leslie about the necklace mom wanted. I knew she would not be expecting it, especially from my sister, momma had no idea that Leslie even knew about the necklace. It wanted it to be a total shock to her!!! This is what the poem was that went with it:

The Reunion Heart

Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I’m so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I’d grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.

God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we’ll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.

He’ll turn to joy my every tear
and when I wear this necklace near
it will become my simple way
to treasure our Reunion Day.

I have the necklace now that my momma used to wear. My sisters decided it should go to me since it was about my daddy. Soon after the death of my momma, I went on-line and found a place to order the necklace and bought one for both of my sisters. It just seemed so fitting. So if you ever see me with a simple looking necklace that has a heart with a tear drop missing from it, you'll understand that even though the necklace is not an expensive piece of jewelry, the value that necklace has to me is worth more than all the money in the world. I miss you momma, everyday.... I love you...MORE

Trying to please...

Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

This verse helps me so much. So many times we just want to please everybody. Be a peacemaker, don't make waves, walk in love... but yet we are called to be honest... sometimes even when it's something people just don't want to hear. It's hard to walk that fine line, not to be offensive to people, yet to lead them in HIS direction with HIS words. Sometimes it would be easier just to tell people what they want to hear, yet at the same time I know they are coming to me because they know I will tell them the truth, even though it's tough at times. I want to be a servant of Christ, I want to be a daughter of the King, and I want people to know that I can't just soothe their ruffled feathers with consoling words, or tell them something just to get them to leave me alone. Pastor Kim told me last week that as a Christian I am called to hate injustice, and that has helped me be bolder in the answers I give to those looking for advice. I have a feeling that some won't come to me anymore, but I also have a peace in my heart that I know when I listen to the Holy Spirit, He will give me the words that will plant a seed which is more important than just saying words to make people feel better.

Lord, let my words be your words, let my words lead to your path of life...narrow is the road, and there are few who choose that path, but I thank you that you guide me as I walk down this narrow path, and you give me wisdom to know what to say and HOW to say it so I'm still walking in love, but I'm not budging an inch on my convictions. I don't want to please men, I want to please you Lord. Give me boldness with tenderness, give me wisdom with compassion, give me strength but let me be approachable so that I may lead some to you. The cry of my heart is to please YOU, not people!

Oreo (not the cookie...the kitty..lol)

Orero the first day he came to live with us =)

So we decided over a month ago to try and have a kitten. With all the allergies in our house between all the kids, we weren't sure how this was going to go.(Gavin especially!!!!) But praise God, he's kept the kids allergies under control and we have our newest member of the family who fits right in!
Oreo has grown into quite the little kitty. He is SO PATIENT with Brandon, and has become such a blessing that there is ALWAYS somebody loving on him, but he is smitten with Brandon. Brandon is learning the valuable lesson of what being gentle really means.
This kitten gets into everything, but doesn't tear anything up!!




So now, I have to be ready with the camera, because you never know when a photo opportunity like this one will arise


I know my boys have learned that the verse "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" can even mean a kitten!!!! Thank you Lord for the small things... especially a new member of the family that can steal your heart at any given time =) Thank you Lord for Oreo!

My favorite verse...

In the front of my Bible I have many verses and different things written....

Things like:

Damaged hearts require Spiritual repair. Simply polishing the exterior of our life with religion isn't enough.

Of this we can be sure: the rose that is crushed today will, in His hands, bloom once again.

The works of your hands become an act of worship when the attitude of your heart is to demonstrate to others the glory of His goodness in your life. (The Kiss of Heaven)

1 Corinthians 8:3 The man who loves God is known by God.

It ought to be the business of everyday to prepare for our last day (Matthew Henry)

Forget who you were; Become who you ARE.

You cannot stay where you are and GO with God at the same time.

God doesn't love me because of who I am... I'm who I am BECAUSE God loves me.


He feels supreme love for One he's never seen.
He talks familiarly every day to someone he cannot see.
He expects to go to Heaven on the virtue of another.
He empties himself in order to be full.
He admits he is wrong so he can be declared right.
He goes down in order to get up.
He is strongest when he is weakest, richest when he is poorest, happiest when he feels the worst.
He dies so he can live.
He forsakes in order to have.
He gives away so he can keep.
He sees the invisible, he hears the inaudible.
He knows that which passes understanding. (A.W. Tozer)

But above all, my favorite verse is this:

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you Do not fear, I will help you, Do not be afraid.




Sometimes I feel God put this verse in the Bible just for me. I'm one of those people who needs his hand to hold. One of those people who needs to be reminded that He will help me and that I should not be afraid. As a child (ok, even PAST that) I was afraid of so many things. Afraid of my step-dad's temper, afraid of being by myself, afraid that eventually all men would leave me (gosh did Sheldon have to spend some serious years convincing me that wasn't true!!!) I was afraid that those I loved would die after finding out my real dad died 2 weeks before I was born. You name it, I was afraid of it!! I still remember how I felt when I found this verse. It was the first verse I wrote in big letters in my Bible. It's still the verse I come back to more often than any other. I've grown so much and am not afraid like I used to be, but I have to admit that I still have those days where I need his hand to hold and the gentle reminder that HE WILL HELP ME!

Thank you Lord for your hand that reaches down and holds onto mine and helps me everyday of my life. I am your little girl, you are my Heavenly Father and I trust you with all that I am. Because of you I am not afraid, because of you I can move mountains, because of you I can trust in a way I never thought possible. Because of you I know my home is in Heaven and until I get there you will help me do the works that you planned in advance for me to do. Because of you I can forgive, but most of all because of you I CAN LOVE WITHOUT ABANDON.