Celebration of Life

So the 3rd anniversary of losing my mom was Saturday. It's the kind of anniversary that as it gets closer, you want to try and forget it instead of the fun anniversary's that you get excited about. The true blessing was Friday night at the lock in I was talking to Nancy (a sweet friend from our church) who herself is battling cancer. Nancy had no idea that the next day was a day I was dreading because of losing my mom, though she did now that I had lost my mom to cancer. As Nancy and I talked she was telling me that as a person who is looking death in the face yet fighting with all her might to over come this vicious disease she can look at me and tell what a wonderful woman my mom was by the person that I am. She told me to not look at the fact that she is gone, look at all that she gave me while she was here... look at the precious time I had with her, look at the time my boys had with her, and look at the love she put inside of me and the tenderness that she helped instill in me towards others. She said that my mom is not gone, part of her lives on everyday as I live on, and as my boys live on. The memories that we have of the love that she gave will never die.. her love will never die. I think it really took hearing these words of encouragement from a woman who is fighting the battle that my mom lost. She also told me that as a mom, the last thing she wants is for her son to be so sad that she is in HEAVEN. She doesn't want him to spend years of his life wasted in a hole of despair, she wants him to celebrate (IF SHE DIES) that she is with the Lord. Some of this may seem like common sense, but when you lose someone who seemed to be a huge part of what makes your world go round, you lose sight of a lot of things except for the fact that they are no longer here. I guess its a path you have to walk to understand. I told Nancy that the one thing I do know is that God carried me second by second.. minute by minute... hour by hour... day by day ... I learned he truly is always there and will never ever turn his back on me especially in those times of our lives when we cannot take a single step without him holding us up!