My Savior, My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior


My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior loves, My Savior lives

Brandon is on this kick of REPEATEDLY watching this video... I love this song, so it doesn't bother me that he watches it probably 30 times in a day...lol =) And honestly, I love it that my not even 2-1/2 year old hunts down this video and always tell me...mommy, it's aaron shust, aaron shust... It's funny how technically young Brandon is, but he can pick out artists when he hears a song start... he can tell you when it's Skillet, Third Day (and he always says, Third Day..Mac Powell. (mac powell is the lead singer, I told him that ONCE!)), Toby Mac, Aaron Shust...I could go on & on, there are so many singers & bands that he recognizes and tells me exactly who it is that is singing the song I've chosen... Anyway, that completely side-tracked me...(I am still blonde at heart)...

About this video and this song... there are so many things that I've thought about as I hear (and naturally have to sing a long with because it's playing) this over and over....

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
This part of the song soooo reminds me, that I am not even close to knowing God's "big picture"... his will is far more intricate than my human mind can comprehend, yet the next part of that verse says:

I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior
This is such a real picture to me, that as I look at the right hand of God, stands the one man who understands me better than I understand myself... my Savior... the one who gave more to me than I will ever be able to repay, and His love is deeper than what my human heart can comprehend

That he would leave his place on high...and come for sinful man to die...
What a loving, forgiving, and holy God we serve that he would send his son to take upon himself the sins of you and I and of this world....

I am so humbled by the greatness of love that Jesus has for us, I never want to become somehow numb to that, I want that to be what makes me different in this world where everyone is looking for that light that shines through you because of the son that you have inside of you. Lord help me to be your tool, help me to stay loving, kind, forgiving, a peacemaker..... all those things Lord which you call us as women and daughters of the most high to be. But most of all let me show your spirit that will reach out and touch those whose spirits are hurting, lonely, and just lost Lord. Help me to reach out in love and share what you have so unselfishly given me.

My bestest friend

I've had this certain best friend for going on 12 years. I never imagined that anyone could know so much about me and still love me. I never imagined that my heart would trust someone so much that I could tell him ANYTHING and know that he would hold me when somehow my mind would think that what I've told him would make him push me away. I never imagined that he could look at me and tell if I've had a good day or a bad day within two seconds of seeing my face after coming home from work. I never imagined that he would be able to hear a crack in my voice and know if it's because I'm tired, or because I'm upset, or because of some sort of aggrevation. I never imagined that looking in his eyes even after 12 years would still make me weak in the knees. I never imagined that I could possible love him more than I did the day that we got married, but when I watched him become a real caring and loving daddy, and a husband who puts his wife first in all situations, and watched him become a godly man who loves to hear the holy spirit and be obedient to that still small voice and watch God do his handi-work, I saw a new man, more than just the best friend I had, more than the handsome man I married, more than a good guy..... he became my knight in shining armor, my prince charming, my Sir Lancelot, but he has always stayed MY BEST FRIEND. Baby, I love you more every day. I'm excited to see how God is using you and I love to watch you grown in your Faith which makes me strive to grown in my Faith too. You are my best friend. Through the last two years you carried me when I wasn't sure if I was going to make it, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Thank you for meaning "till death do us part" and "for better and for worse". I will love you until the end of time, and when time ends here, eternity begins in Heaven.... you are SO STUCK WITH ME =)

(What I thought was the happiest day of my life, turned out to be JUST THE BEGINNING!)

I love you forever =)

Family...nothing better =)

So my little brother started staying with us yesterday. Him & his wife are going through a divorce, and he's got 2 beautiful kids, so he needed somewhere he could stay where he could safely bring his son Logan Rush(7) and Tessa Rayne(3) to stay with him any chance he gets. Ok, I say he's my little brother, but he's actually TALLER (and very broad...he's a strapping young man...lol) than I am even though I'm 8 years older than he is!! I hate what they're going through, but I have to admit that I LOVE having my brother around. We've always been close, but to be honest I left home at 17, fresh out of high school, so he was only 9. I lived in another state for most of the years he spent growing up. We still got along great whenever we were around each other, and he really taught me to quit caring so much what people thought about me or what they would say about me. He's never been one to really care if he had "everyone's approval", and I seemed to be the exact oposite thinking I had to please EVERYONE all the time. I love him so much, he's always been such a good brother to me, always sweet, we've never had a fight about anything (just like me and my older brother).... Thank you Lord for 2 brothers that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Thank you for Jeremy and help me Lord have the words from you to comfort him, help him and guide him in your ways. But most of all God, thank you for my whole family. Sometimes we forget how blessed we are to have people around us who love us unconditionally just like you do!!!

The Reunion Heart

I can still remember the day my momma and I were shopping together. This was probably about 4 years ago. We stopped at one of my favorite stores in the world, Family Christian Bookstore in Joliet (this is when we still lived up there). I still remember her telling me to come look at this necklace she found and the poem that went along with it. The necklace is a very simple looking silver necklace with a heart pendant, but in the heart there is a tear drop hole in it. It's called The Reunion Heart. My mom actually had tears coming down her face and said how much she loved this piece of jewelry (and it was NOT expensive at all!). She said it made her think of my daddy who went to heaven two weeks before I was born because of a drunk driver. Momma had my older brother Randy who had just turned 1 on October 22, 1971.. and she was 9 months pregnant with me when my daddy was driving home from work around midnight and was clipped on the rear end of his car by the drunk driver and his car ended up wrapped around a tree. This was October 26, 1971.



For Christmas I told my sister Leslie about the necklace mom wanted. I knew she would not be expecting it, especially from my sister, momma had no idea that Leslie even knew about the necklace. It wanted it to be a total shock to her!!! This is what the poem was that went with it:

The Reunion Heart

Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I’m so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.

I never knew how much I’d grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.

God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we’ll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.

He’ll turn to joy my every tear
and when I wear this necklace near
it will become my simple way
to treasure our Reunion Day.

I have the necklace now that my momma used to wear. My sisters decided it should go to me since it was about my daddy. Soon after the death of my momma, I went on-line and found a place to order the necklace and bought one for both of my sisters. It just seemed so fitting. So if you ever see me with a simple looking necklace that has a heart with a tear drop missing from it, you'll understand that even though the necklace is not an expensive piece of jewelry, the value that necklace has to me is worth more than all the money in the world. I miss you momma, everyday.... I love you...MORE

Trying to please...

Galatians 1:10
If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

This verse helps me so much. So many times we just want to please everybody. Be a peacemaker, don't make waves, walk in love... but yet we are called to be honest... sometimes even when it's something people just don't want to hear. It's hard to walk that fine line, not to be offensive to people, yet to lead them in HIS direction with HIS words. Sometimes it would be easier just to tell people what they want to hear, yet at the same time I know they are coming to me because they know I will tell them the truth, even though it's tough at times. I want to be a servant of Christ, I want to be a daughter of the King, and I want people to know that I can't just soothe their ruffled feathers with consoling words, or tell them something just to get them to leave me alone. Pastor Kim told me last week that as a Christian I am called to hate injustice, and that has helped me be bolder in the answers I give to those looking for advice. I have a feeling that some won't come to me anymore, but I also have a peace in my heart that I know when I listen to the Holy Spirit, He will give me the words that will plant a seed which is more important than just saying words to make people feel better.

Lord, let my words be your words, let my words lead to your path of life...narrow is the road, and there are few who choose that path, but I thank you that you guide me as I walk down this narrow path, and you give me wisdom to know what to say and HOW to say it so I'm still walking in love, but I'm not budging an inch on my convictions. I don't want to please men, I want to please you Lord. Give me boldness with tenderness, give me wisdom with compassion, give me strength but let me be approachable so that I may lead some to you. The cry of my heart is to please YOU, not people!

Oreo (not the cookie...the kitty..lol)

Orero the first day he came to live with us =)

So we decided over a month ago to try and have a kitten. With all the allergies in our house between all the kids, we weren't sure how this was going to go.(Gavin especially!!!!) But praise God, he's kept the kids allergies under control and we have our newest member of the family who fits right in!
Oreo has grown into quite the little kitty. He is SO PATIENT with Brandon, and has become such a blessing that there is ALWAYS somebody loving on him, but he is smitten with Brandon. Brandon is learning the valuable lesson of what being gentle really means.
This kitten gets into everything, but doesn't tear anything up!!




So now, I have to be ready with the camera, because you never know when a photo opportunity like this one will arise


I know my boys have learned that the verse "delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart" can even mean a kitten!!!! Thank you Lord for the small things... especially a new member of the family that can steal your heart at any given time =) Thank you Lord for Oreo!

My favorite verse...

In the front of my Bible I have many verses and different things written....

Things like:

Damaged hearts require Spiritual repair. Simply polishing the exterior of our life with religion isn't enough.

Of this we can be sure: the rose that is crushed today will, in His hands, bloom once again.

The works of your hands become an act of worship when the attitude of your heart is to demonstrate to others the glory of His goodness in your life. (The Kiss of Heaven)

1 Corinthians 8:3 The man who loves God is known by God.

It ought to be the business of everyday to prepare for our last day (Matthew Henry)

Forget who you were; Become who you ARE.

You cannot stay where you are and GO with God at the same time.

God doesn't love me because of who I am... I'm who I am BECAUSE God loves me.


He feels supreme love for One he's never seen.
He talks familiarly every day to someone he cannot see.
He expects to go to Heaven on the virtue of another.
He empties himself in order to be full.
He admits he is wrong so he can be declared right.
He goes down in order to get up.
He is strongest when he is weakest, richest when he is poorest, happiest when he feels the worst.
He dies so he can live.
He forsakes in order to have.
He gives away so he can keep.
He sees the invisible, he hears the inaudible.
He knows that which passes understanding. (A.W. Tozer)

But above all, my favorite verse is this:

Isaiah 41:13
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you Do not fear, I will help you, Do not be afraid.




Sometimes I feel God put this verse in the Bible just for me. I'm one of those people who needs his hand to hold. One of those people who needs to be reminded that He will help me and that I should not be afraid. As a child (ok, even PAST that) I was afraid of so many things. Afraid of my step-dad's temper, afraid of being by myself, afraid that eventually all men would leave me (gosh did Sheldon have to spend some serious years convincing me that wasn't true!!!) I was afraid that those I loved would die after finding out my real dad died 2 weeks before I was born. You name it, I was afraid of it!! I still remember how I felt when I found this verse. It was the first verse I wrote in big letters in my Bible. It's still the verse I come back to more often than any other. I've grown so much and am not afraid like I used to be, but I have to admit that I still have those days where I need his hand to hold and the gentle reminder that HE WILL HELP ME!

Thank you Lord for your hand that reaches down and holds onto mine and helps me everyday of my life. I am your little girl, you are my Heavenly Father and I trust you with all that I am. Because of you I am not afraid, because of you I can move mountains, because of you I can trust in a way I never thought possible. Because of you I know my home is in Heaven and until I get there you will help me do the works that you planned in advance for me to do. Because of you I can forgive, but most of all because of you I CAN LOVE WITHOUT ABANDON.

Our calling....

I absolutely LOVE this video...makes me cry everytime I see it.
Somehow this video helps me everytime I see it to remind me that our calling is never as intense as that of Jesus. God does not ask me to let this happen to my child, he does not ask me be crucified like Jesus was, and yet somehow I feel like my calling is just too hard sometimes. After watching this, I am gently reminded that Jesus did the hardest part ever imagined, and that what I am called to do is to love all those who come across my path, and show them the love of Jesus. This doesn't seem so hard when you look at it and compare it to what Jesus went through, yet at times I still complain... Forgive me Lord for the simple things you ask me to do, and my reluctancy at times to fulfill your calling in my life. You gave me everything, and for that I am thankful. Please help me become brave even though I know my calling will never compare to that of your Son's.

When it rains, it pours....

So, the kids started back to school (yipppppeeee), but the day before they started back, I found out that a wonderful friend of mine had passed away....

Paula O'Ree

I knew something was wrong when her mom called me... she had been battling cancer for almost 3 years =( She was diagnosed with lung cancer just a few short months after her wonderful husband

Paula & Patrick

(another huge friend of mine) had passed away after battling cancer himself. The next day, the kids started back to school, and I FELT SICK! By Wednesday night I was feverish, no appetite, and hoping that was where it would end...but NO... that same night I was vomiting horribly and up for most of the night. Thank you Lord for a husband who understands when I need him! Sheldon spent the next day (Thursday) home taking care of me & Brandon =) The old saying...when it rains, it pours, seemed to fit so well...I felt kinda overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with sadness, sickness, and the knowledge that sometimes life just doesn't go how we want it to. When I started to think about Paula's 2 young sons (24 & 25) and that she had her first grandbaby not even a year ago (a beautiful little girl) I started thinking about my momma. Those same feelings of knowing how her kids were feeling... the sadness, the questions, the emptiness.... I could go on and on. I just thank you Lord that everything is in your hands. I trust you even when I can't figure things out. I trust you even when some things just don't seem to make sense. I trust you always. Knowing the Lord and knowing his LOVE towards me and everyone who calls on his name makes the last 3 days a lot easier to deal with. I couldn't imagine going through life on my own anymore. I thank HIM everyday that I can cast my cares upon HIM and he's there. Thank you Lord for always knowing what I need, when I need to hear your voice reminding me that you are in control, and mostly for your unconditional love and forgiveness. Without you I am nothing, with you I can do all things.... even make it through those days where I really just want to lay down and cry.

Paula & "Scoot-doggie-dog"

To my dearest friend Paula, you are in Heaven now with the love of your life. I'm sure my momma got to hug you and that you & Patrick & my momma and my daddy are looking down at me and gently reminding me to be what God has called me to be, that time is short, and to no longer be afraid to take those steps that He calls me to take. I have the best guardian angels in the world =)

Keeper of the stars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJSR29XjGyQ

The night Sheldon & I met, this was the first song we danced to... how fitting it was =)

Keeper of the stars.... God truly is amazing, I was from Illinois, Sheldon was from Arizona, and we met and were married in Georgia! I have to admit that I was SMITTEN with the handsome, tall, yummy smelling Mr. Carver from the first time we met, and still am to this very day over 11 years later ;) I can remember calling my mom and telling her all about him... We spent every day together and when we were working we were on the phone with each other. We met on Feb. 13, 1997 and were married May 17, 1997! (and of course, KEEPER OF THE STARS was our wedding song!!) Short courtship, but lifetime commitment! He still amazes me with how easy he makes it seem to love me. Like the song says.... IT WAS NO ACCIDENT, ME FINDING YOU.... SOMEONE HAD A HAND IN IT, LONG BEFORE WE EVER KNEW

Me & my BEAUTIFUL MOMMA... (I miss you everyday)My older brother Randy gave me away =)I had cake IN my nose

Who would've thought that 11 years later and 3 more BOYS later, we would be happier today than the day we got married??!! Thank you Lord for the Godly man that you gave me, thank you for all of our children, but most of all thank you for a love that lasts a lifetime!

Is it really Friday????

The last couple of days have seemed blurry.... It's funny how you can have so much going on that the days just seem to run together!! Wednesday is when my baby niece was admitted to the hospital, we had Church, Thursday we had the "back to school" cook-out for our teen Youth Group from 4-9, and today I spent cleaning trying to make sure Saturday would be a great day to be together as a family and not have SO MUCH TO DO! My little princess of a niece was released today, they determined she had a very very bad virus that was taking it's toll on her tiny body! They hooked her up to the I.V. immediately on Wed. and kept her going strong on fluids and antibiotics to keep her from dehydration. They broke her fever but she just wasn't eating anything and still kept filling diapers for 2 days! She was sent home today with directions to return to the doctor tomorrow so they can check on her. Please pray she'll get her little appetite back, her momma said she's a much happier baby, and not fussy, but she's just a weak little girl from the virus she had. Pray that momma and baby get some much needed rest and strength =) Lord thank you for being the Great Physician.

~Brandon & Alaina~

So the youth group's' "back to school" cook-out was a success....Sheldon did not set our bushes on fire (I think everyone was nervous when the gasoline was brought out....lol) there was SO MUCH MOUNTAIN DEW involved that it should have been against the law ;) Tons of our teens came and even some of the parents stayed for the whole evening, some hung out for a little while... that was awesome to see some of the parents enjoying themselves and getting juiced up on Mountain Dew along with their teens...lol The evening was wrapped up with all of us piling in (and I do mean over crowding couches and bodies all over the floor) to watch Passion of the Christ. Such a great movie to watch and be so overwhelmingly reminded of what Christ went through all because He loves us so much. We truly are blessed with some amazing young people in our church and it's exciting to be a part of their lives and watch them grow in Christ. It truly is humbling to be loved by these young people and sow into their lives. Oh, and Brandon was eating up the attention from all of his favorite young ladies =) HE SLEPT SOOOO WELL THAT NIGHT! Anyway, kind of a rambling and odd blog, but that's what the last few days have been like!!! Lord, thank you for being a part of every second of every crazy day that we have, if we didn't have you as our anchor in life, we would be tossed around and be beaten up by the craziness, instead you blend it all together and show us how exciting and sometimes just down right entertaining it is to be called your children.

Dear Jesus

I found this in a book I was reading about 7 years ago. It has moved to 3 different refrigerators in 3 different houses so I see it everyday. It moved me so much when I read it, that I wanted it to become my heart's prayer....

Dear Jesus~
Someday, the sky will open and You will enter this world again. Forgive me for the times I misplaced the hope of that amid the bills and appointments and dealines that clutter my days. Forgive me for the times I let the sparkle of the world steal my attention from the vision of Your glory.

Keep my eyes on You, Lord. Keep my heart yearning for the moment You open the door and enter my home. Keep my candle lit in the anticipation of seeing the beauty of Your face and hearing the tenderness in Your voice.

You have given me everything. To whom much is given, much is required. Help me to live to my potential.

Help me to keep my house in order, to not be satisfied with the bare walls of my life, but to decorate them with the things that appeal to You. An act of mercy. A word of encouragement. A tear of compassion.

Lord, may I dress to please You. May I clothe my body in purity, resisting the temptation to sell myself for untrue love. May I adorn my heart with fidelity, always keeping in mind the vow I made when You first came into my life.

Fire my soul with a desire for You. Help me never to lose my first love. Help me stay true to the end. Keep me vigilant through dark and desolate nights. Keep my candle lit, Lord. Please keep my candle lit.

~ MY PRAYER ~

Sometimes it's easy to pray....

Sometimes I feel like it is easy to pray...examples would be: tragic accident, child hurt, family member seriously ill, all of these though are HUGE life obstacles that make it easy to pray and as the Bible says, pray without ceasing.... So why, then on a day like today when EVERYTHING seemed to just pile up against me (grouchy kid, lazy kid, one who seriously must have a potato the size of IDAHO itself in his ear because he can't seem to hear me when I speak, ringing telephone, headache, can't find what I need to cook for supper, I could go on an on) and I look back and can remember praying ...Lord.. help me or; Lord... I'm serious, I'm going to blow but not once did I take the time to really just sit down, grab a cappuccino and grab my Bible to turn my day around. I know it can work, I've done it before.... why does it seem to take huge things to make my heart PRAY THROUGH those crazy days that everybody has? Why is it somedays I just get more overwhelmed instead? Anyway, after this crazy, hectic, fast-paced, laundry filled day was coming to an end, around 5:00 p.m. my sister called and just had a slight crack in her voice and just said, please pray for Alaina (my baby niece) she had been running a fever, had bad bad bad horrible nasty diapers, one right after another with blood in them and just wasn't right. My sister Anna just said, please pray for her Angie, I'm on my way to the E.R. with her now, I just got off the phone with the nurse and she told me to bring her in right away. My heart sank, I felt humbled that she knew I would pray and that she trusted me to lift up her little one to the Lord in a way that would help bring peace to HER also. Somehow my day that I thought should have been marked on my calendar as "the day the kids came very close to driving me insane" was swept away, and my feeble feelings of not being an adequate prayer went away.

Alaina Katherine was born 5/31/08 and is being admitted to St. Joe's hospital in Joliet so they can try and figure out what is going on in her little body. I suddenly feel like a prayer warrior again. Lord, forgive me for those days my eyes are more focused on the craziness around me than the peace that I find in you. Thank you for keeping me so close to your heart that I can feel your loving heartbeat. And Lord, please watch over little Miss Alaina, surround her with Angels and most of all with your loving presence filling her room for her, her momma, and all those who come in contact with your tiny precious creation.

Two little words....

I've notice over the past week that our 2 year old little boy (2 year and 4 months) has been using two little words a lot lately. These little words are I'M SORRY.... Normally, this would bring out my reaction of "what good little manners you have Brandon" or "that's o.k. buddy, it's really not a big deal", but he says them SOOOO much... he'll ask me "mommy can I have snack?" I'll tell him give me just one second (drying off my hands from dishes or something) and he'll say OK, I'M SORRY...and it's in the heartbroken tone they can use when they really know they've disappointed you... (and big puppy dog eyes). I keep telling him, no buddy that's not anything to say you're sorry for, that's just mommy telling you to hold on a second. He does this probably 30 times in a day. I can say I know where he gets it from, when his older brothers get into trouble, they are made to apologize to one another and say that they are sorry. Or if I get too grouchy, I'll apologize and say, hey guys mom's sorry if I snapped at you earlier, I was tired. I mean it's good to say you're sorry, but Brandon has been breaking my heart and it's like God spoke to me this evening, and told me that's how he feels when we come to him over something that really is so trivial, so little, but legalistically we've made it a HUGE DEAL, and we come to him like heartbroken children saying I'm sorry. When we pick up guilt that we've already left at the altar for Him, when we feel regret for something we have already laid at his feet.... Lord, thank you for your small reminder from a 2 year old, that we don't always have to be so sorry, we are your children, you do love us, and sometimes we just need that big hug that reminds us that there is truly nothing to be sorry for when we bring it to Him.....Jesus paid the price

Some explaining to do...

My blogging name is "slightly crooked halo" so before anyone might come up with a bad version of that name, I wanted to explain it.... My mom was my hero, my best friend, one of those mom's that you just really can't thank God enough for giving you, she was patient (though drew the line) she was loving (even if it meant a spanking when I deserved it) she was also the one who pointed out to us (5 of us, no I guess she was slightly cracked too =) that we should always feel blessed even if we don't have what other people consider "a lot". Did I mention there were 5 of us??? Do you know how many games you can come up with that do not involve any money being spent, or serious know-how....just dream it up, and there go, figuring it out along the way. Anyway, I was HORRIBLY clumbsy, not just slightly clumbsy, a little clumbsy, oh no, mom would say I could trip over a pebble, trip over nothing, and honestly I don't really believe I've outgrown that trait, but after 36 years, you just learn to catch yourself better =) So, she used to call me her little angel (Angela, my first name) is another meaning for Angel, blessed one, (yeah, at first through my teen years I bet she was thinking to herself...WHAT WAS I THINKING GIVING HER THAT NAME!...LOL) So as years went by, and I would weekly fall down the stairs, or fall off a tractor, or fall out of the top of the barn down to the straw for the pigs below, or fall just running...I mean I fell ALL THE TIME...she started telling me as she would always pick me up, brush me off, and send me on my way, she would say, God had to make your halo out of something special, because it's still there, it may be slightly crooked, but it's still there. She was so wonderful, we lost her to cancer just over 2 years ago... I miss her everyday, but I know I'm easy for her to spot from Heaven with my "slightly crooked halo =)" I LOVE YOU MOMMA

Be kind, first attempt

So to have any quiet time as a mommy, I find myslef up well after they all go to bed... time to relax, time to acutally "hear" NOTHING...lol. I'm sure I'll get used to this soon, so be patient with me.. I just want to share so many of those "God Winks" that happen in our lives, the ones that seem so little that if you're not paying close attention you will miss. We all know those moments when for a second time stands still and your heart feels so full you understand that "all encompasing" love that God wants to give us ALL THE TIME. My heart tonight feels like I've let someone down, someone I've always loved, and have always had such high hopes for. Though he's young, and he's had a tough road, a dad who is trying to get clean from drugs, a mom who's stuggled with her own demons, a young man who is honestly being dealt a pretty crappy hand of cards to start playing in life. I saw him today and his hug made me melt, and I felt the Lord speak to my heart, and tell me... now instead of just thinking this poor kid (who is so adorable, and so respectful to me, and truly has a heart of gold) instead of focusing on the hand he's been delt, PLACE HIM IN MY HANDS..... my heart sunk, for all this time I feel I've let him down...I've prayed for their family when times were hard, I've prayed they'd commit their lives to a relationship with Jesus..not a "religion" but a one-on-one relationship with the true Living Lord Jesus himself....but I failed to put this young man that I care about into his hands daily instead of shaking my head in disbelief as I pictured what can happen down the worldy road that is being paved for him.....Forgive me Lord, thank you for reminded me where I need to place EVERYTHING...my worries, my cares, my doubts, but especially the ONES I LOVE.