In Christ

So I have these days where I have to admit I struggle to remember who I AM in Christ. The bills pile up, with 3 kids in school there's always something coming home asking for money, Jonathan is now in high school, so we have our first official homecoming in a couple of weeks for him (HOW EXCITING!! Miss Allie will look like the princess she is =) But then I start thinking about all of this money that has to come from somewhere, and I start to get over-whelmed. With Sheldon being off of work for 7 months instead of 3 to 4 weeks from one surgery, 2 surgerys later we've watched God do miracles for us in the financial area to always make sure we had what we needed exactly when we needed it. So you would think this would not even be an issue for me right? I've watched God move mountains for 7 months on our behalf and always keeping us safe where we are, and blessed with so much more than what money can buy... yet today I decided to focus on the HOW IN THE WORLD IS THIS GOING TO WORK? Then, as a stay at home mommy, the devil can really get you going when he starts whispering... you make no financial contribution to this family... you need to get a real job and put your kid in daycare like everybody else. ( and actually I've even had members of my own family tell me this before.... to the point of saying that as being a stay at home mommy I was wasting what I had to offer... such love..lol) Anyway, I start to feel crummy about myself, seem to start having a pity party, and speaking outloud that I am no contributor to my family, and pretty much therefore worthless. (MAN SATAN CAN HAVE HIS WAY WITH YOUR MIND WHEN YOU GIVE HIM ONE INCH) So now I write tonight after my hubby has made his complete evening a show of tender love and has reminded me of God's faithfulness and how much He loves us, and how often we've seen him come through for us when we saw no way... he made a way. And watching my kids, when I say good night to everyone, get an I love you, and a kiss (ok, Jonathan avoids the kiss, but I definitely get the nightly I love you... he is 14 afterall...lol) And I just keep thinking about how if I had focused on truly who I am in Christ, the devil would not have played with me today. He wouldn't have had even a foothold except I gave it to him. So here's to a valuable lesson on remembering who we are IN CHRIST and staying focused on that instead of the physical things I see... afterall faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things UNSEEN...


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Oh, and the feeling like I don't contribute part, I KNOW as a stay at home mommy that I am instilling in my children a love for Jesus, respect for others and THEMSELVES, they know if there is ever anything they need at anytime, they can come and get me.... I know I'm contributing to something much more valuable than what I could ever contribute at a business. There are seasons in life, and as they get older, I know I'll be able to look back and say I was there.... and my momma often told me of the guilt she felt for being at home through me & my older brother (they divorced right after my Senior graduation) and the times she felt that she let my little sisters and brother down because she couldn't be there for them like she was for us. My Aunt Roberta told me the same thing about when she went to work thinking that somehow the extra income outweighed her childrens need for her... they both shed tears with this confession of guilt and I really think God tells us things through some people that mean the world to us to save us from the same mistakes that they made. When Brandon starts school I really want to get involved with working with the school, maybe doing teachers aide stuff, or working with the special needs children, I don't know, maybe God will have a different idea, but for each season of my life, I know he will be there.... I only have to focus on who I AM THROUGH HIM and trust that HE loves me and will never forsake me...you would think this would be easy by now!!