Happy New Year =)

It's 11:45 p.m. We are a wild & crazy family.... Sheldon's sleeping, Brandon's knocked out, Gavin fell asleep about 10 minutes ago on the couch.... Darian and I are hanging in there! Jonathan went to the lock-in, so I know he's awake =)

Since Sheldon and I have been together, we have always made New Year's a family time of fun, food, and watching the boys TRY THEIR HARDEST to make it till midnight... now Sheldon's usually sleeping before all of us ;) BUT, he does get up early for work, so we forgive him & tuck him in each year.......lol

One of my mom's all time favorite songs was Auld Lang Syne, and I found this video of a beautiful piano rendition of it, so I thought I'd share it.

Here's to a revival-filled 2009! I pray this year is a wonderful, safe, and GOD-FILLED YEAR for all of my friends and family.

A favorite verse...

John 21:25
And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. (KJV)

I absolutely LOVE this verse, because it is hard to wrap our minds around all the miracles that Jesus did then, and still does to this very day. To think that this very world itself could not hold the amounts of books that would be written.... AMAZING.

Lord, thank you for all the miracles you have done. It will never cease to amaze me how many miracles you have worked in my life alone, and I know there are some that I don't even know about! If every day for the rest of my life the only words I spoke were "Thank You Lord", it would still not come close to being enough. You have given me truth, you have given me love, you have given me forgiveness, you have given me LIFE.... here on earth, and for eternity. You have given me everything.... I am amazed that you love me exactly how I am, but I know that you made me this way for a divine purpose, and for such a time as this.....

Blue Clear Sky

I used to be a HUGE CRAZY country fan.... loved it loved it loved it, now I've listened to Christian music for probably 9 years or so, but I still love some country music. Some of the songs can take me to a certain time in my relationship with Sheldon. When we first met, we used to go to karaoke (actually, before we even knew each other, we went to the SAME karaoke place on the SAME night for MONTHS AND MONTHS and never knew each other, but after we met, we figured out that we knew a lot of the same people. ANYWAY, Blue Clear Sky by George Strait is a song that Sheldon has serenaded me with more than just a few times =) and it's funny if you listen to the words, it describes Sheldon and I when we met... neither of us thought we were looking for anything, until we found each other and found EVERYTHING. For some reason God is really stirring my heartfelt devotion to my husband... the things we've been through, the times he's held me up when I didn't want to stand, the loving way he always finds someway to show me that he's thought of me that day, or when he does something for me just to make my day easier or better.... I truly am blessed, and it really was ....out of the blue clear sky ;)

Filling time

Was looking for something to listen to while I was uploading pics... anyway, did a youtube search for Nicole C Mullen (I LOVE SO MANY OF HER SONGS) and thought I'd share this one =)

My life's partner

I never could have imagined that the night I met Sheldon was actually the beginning of a fairy tale. Let's remind ourselves that fairy tales often have huge dragons, evil witches, ugly harassing trolls under bridges, it's not just happily ever after..the end. It's a story that has it's twists and turns, it's ups and downs, dragons that have to be slain, sacrifices that have to be made for true love to prevail. I just have to admit that I never read a fairy tale that was truly as funny as ours.... we're definitely not the Brady Bunch, though we're close in number...lol =) It proves to me once again, the holiness of God, HIS ability to change us from the inside out, HIS ability to make the two truly and honestly become one. As we walk through this crazy thing we call life, and I couldn't imagine not seeing Sheldon's smiling, understanding, forgiving, gentle face looking back at me as we take life's knocks, life's blessings, life's questions, and life with 5 boys...

An email I got...

I got this email simply titled "Enough"
this was a small part of it that touched me deeply. I added the last one. Merry Christmas to everyone I love, and may we always hold our family closer than we hold anything else in our lives =)


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

I wish you enough hugs from your momma so that after she's gone, you'll never forget that they could always make the whole world better.

Merry Christmas

The big day is finally here, what a beautiful day to celebrate the brith of our savior Jesus Christ. He always proves himself faithful. I could go on and on about all the blessings that have been brought into our lives over the last 2 weeks, but everyone involved wants God to get all the glory, and want no mention of what they did for us to anyone. This includes SO MANY PEOPLE, it was so amazing. At the beginning of this "blessing journey" I was given a necklace that simply says "Expect Miracles". It was a very personal message to me, because I have to admit that since mom passed away, and through her whole battle I just prayed Lord I know you can do miracles... please Lord... show your healing power. Though I know that the ultimate healing of our bodies is to be taken to Heaven and never have to worry about sickness, disease, anything at all. When I was given that necklace it was as if God just whispered in my ear... "Where's that girl of mine who has always expected miracles, even as a little little girl you saw angels, you have been shown things by me that you've never spoke of, I gave you that child like faith for a reason... expect miracles Angie... And since I have to say, I feel so much more full of hope, full of joy, full of love, but most of all, full of expectation... expect miracles

True Friendship

I have a wonderful friend who I've know for about 15 years. She lives in the south, I worked with her for 5 years, and we were the best of friends. I have kept in touch with her through all these years and I was saddened today when she called me and told her sister had passed away...just 49 years old, it was a complete SHOCK...it was an aneurism (sp??). It's so hard to have the words to say especially when you feel far away. Things happen so suddenly in our life and turn everything upside down and we have no control over it. It was sweet because she just kept saying she just wanted to talk to me, she had to hear my voice. The only difference between me and so many other people in her life, is that I took the time to get past the "rough" exterior of this beautiful friend, I chose to take what she would say, even though it could have been said nicer and just look past her short-comings on "how to be friendly" Yet in getting to know her, I never knew someone who cared so deeply for the ones she loved, and fought so passionately for what she believed in. I wish more people would quit judging by the "rough" or "tough" exterior of some people, and know that pain and rejection have made them that way. The true love of God showing through us can break through the toughest of walls that have been put up!
And to my friend Monica... You my dear are NOT MEAN, BRUTAL at times, but not mean...lol =)

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas =)

So with the snow, the ice, the kids snow-day from school...one can tell the Holidays are upon us. I just wanted to share one of my all time favorite Christmas songs. As a momma, this song has always touched my heart as you hold your baby and look into their eyes and picture what they will become.

WWE wrestling...

Boys will be boys is all I can say.... I really love that I have all boys, these tough little creatures that somehow like to toss each other around even at the young age of 2 all the way to the teenage years ;) This is what is typical around our house... the wrestling, or Brandon pushing his brothers in his big dump truck...HE doesn't want to ride in it, he wants to push his brothers in it... (how sweet) Anyway, I'm just super thankful that when all else fails they will have each other just as my brothers and sisters have proven to me in life. Family is what matters, taking care of one another, being respectful, being considerate, being forgiving.... the list goes on and on. There's always time for fun & wrestling, but when push really comes to shove, there is no bond stronger than that of a loving family! It's just sad to know how many kids are looking from the outside in at other families who have this, and they can only dream about it. Remember to reach out to these kids in love...that's what shows them the love of Jesus!
Take a sneak peak at the WWE wrestling match that went on at home ....lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl9w9ZqwGI8

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

So tis the season.... It's almost Christmas, and I have to admit I'm doing my best to be "merry" and "jolly", but everybody seems to be struggling in so many ways this Christmas. For a lot of people, it's finances, for some it's marriages, for some it's decisions in life that have the capability of altering other peoples lives, so many trying to be happy, trying to get into the Christmas "Spirit". I know it's not about gifts (thank goodness), I know it's all about Jesus and the fact that he came to live so we also might have life.... he died so we can live eternally in Heaven... his sacrifice, his life, his love, his forgiveness, his holiness.... it's all about HIM. Keeping our eyes on Him, keeping him first in every part of our lives, keeping His word coming out of our mouths.

Lord thank you for this time of season where so many people turn and focus on their family. Please use our lights through this holiday season as the light that points to you, the light in the middle of confusion that shows the way to the one truth that is YOU.

Decisions, Decisions

Sometimes there are easy decisions, and sometimes there are not so easy decisions. I'm kinda stuck in a not so easy one praying about going back to work...hence, leaving Brandon either at a public daycare or private daycare, in other words, mommy is wondering if I can handle it too .. lol

I see his little face 24/7 and honestly it's such a joy watching him mature and he really never ceases to amaze me everyday with something he knows and shows me that I had no idea he even knew...

Maybe it's because he's the last baby
Maybe it's because this is what I've done for the last 10 years
Maybe it's because I feel guilty even thinking about it, yet at the same time feel excited at the thought of working
Maybe it's because I THINK TOO MUCH..lol

It's another point in life that comes down to me making a decision.

Thank you God that I can give this to you and trust you to speak to my heart
Thank you for putting Godly friends around me for advice and wisdom
Thank you for the gift of all of my children... 5 boys who I love more than life itself
Thank you for the husband you blessed me with Lord, you sure knew what you were doing =)
Most of all thank you Lord for always loving me, even if I make a wrong decision..such mercy and love and grace and forgiveness can only come from you Father

Jesus bring the rain

Bring me joy,

bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings You glory

And I know there'll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that's what it takes to praise You

Jesus, bring the rain

Lots going on...

God is who he says he is!

God can do everything!

I am who God says I am!

I can do ALL things through Christ!

The word of God is active and alive in Me =)

And just a note to our little buddy Gabe... even Brandon is praying for you handsome!! We love you guys and each one of you are being lifted up =)

I survived the first school snow day =)

I loved Thanksgiving, I loved the left-overs, I loved being with friends and family, I loved that this Thanksgiving at a good friends house was dedicated to my mom... to her memory, to who she was and what she meant to all those who loved her, I loved that Ronnie asked "Brother Carver" (my mom's pet name for Sheldon) to bless the meal, I loved that I ate way way way too much. I can remember praying and thanking God as I went to sleep Sunday night that we had a wonderful long weekend and for all the blessings he gives us each and everyday.

Monday morning comes as usual and without looking outside you would've thought it was a normal morning... my cappuccino was yummy, it was still quiet because the kids only Brandon was up, the kids still had about another 10 minutes of sleep to enjoy, and the phone rings.... School has been cancelled ... WHAT??? I looked outside thinking I've seen worse, are you kidding me? NO WARNING? KIDS ALL DAY? Not my "normal" routine?

As you see I survived. The "BORED" children survived. When the phone rang this morning I was still sleeping...the message was that school was going to be delayed an hour. Once again I was thankful ;)

WAYYYYY to early

So it's 4:00 a.m. and I have already mopped my kitchen and downstairs bathroom. Can't seem to sleep, so I've been cleaning and praying, and praying and cleaning. I used to have these types of "early mornings" when Brandon was a baby, so it's been a while...but I have ENJOYED praying while I mop, singing while I swept and thanking God for all of his provisions. With Thanksgiving only a day away, I could go on and on with a list of all that I am thankful for, but I'll make it short =)

1. God's grace, forgiveness, love, protection, provision, and tenderness.
2. MY ENTIRE FAMILY including those who are already in Heaven..imagine the FEAST THERE!
3. Just being a mommy....though there are days it's easier than others...lol
4. My wonderful CHURCH family...without them I wouldn't have such a huge beautiful family!
5. My friends ... as cracked as some of them are... (SUSIE..lol) as the quote says:
"Blessed are the cracked, for they let the light shine through!"
6. MY HUSBAND...Sheldon is truly my best friend, the love of my life, the most wonderful father and spiritual leader that I could never deserve!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and may God bless your time with family and friends and may we truly be ready and willing to share our love for the one who gives us every blessing that comes into our lives!

Something OLD

So when my Aunt Roberta moved to Oaklahoma I had asked her to pass a few things on to me that meant something to her.... I have always adored her, and she is the reason that Sheldon and I really got back into the house of God over 8 years ago. To make a longgggggg story short, I got some wonderful things, an oil painting of Jesus praying in the garden that used to hang above her bed.... now, it hangs above ours. See, Aunt Roberta is my realy Dad's sister...he died just a little over 2 weeks before I was born in an auto accident. She seemed to be my life line to the one person in the world I wanted to know... Anyway, among other things that she found of my Dad's (some of this stuff was 30 years old!!) The funniest things are these 2 upside down clawfoot bathtub feet. My Dad painted them....I think I see where my randomness may come from...lol. They always used them as door stops in their house to keep certain doors open. I grew up playing in their house, and never once knew the story of who painted these funky looking things?? So Brandon was playing with "George Washington"...the story goes my Dad painted it to look like George Washington with a gas mask on because of all the chemical polution and the way the world back then was having so many issues (Vietnam..which he was in active duty for on the U.S.S. Tidewater) ANYWAY, back to George (Mr. Washington)and Brandon... I sat there and watched Brandon playing with George (I think he wanted to put a diaper on him, but that's besides the point..lol) and I grabbed my camera to get a picture of my little boys hands touching all over where his grandpa's hands had been probably 40 years ago. I was touched by how God puts these little blessings in our lives to keep us connected to those we await to see in Heaven and miss here on Earth with all of our hearts.

Just wondering...

It's amazing the things that can go through your mind while you're listening to a 5th & 6th grade band and choir performance ;) THEY DID GREAT!!! WAY TO GO KIDS, EVERYONE WORKED HARD!! Anyway, my mind starts wandering (it happens everywhere...lol) and I was thanking God for our community, for the quietness of our towns, for the way people really do seem to make an effort to come together and find common ground, help the needy, watch out for each other. So I then drift back a little farther (and I LIE when I say little...it was a LONG TIME AGO) when I was at that very same school that Darian was performing at probably a year or 2 older than him, and I started to think about being on stage and looking at everyone and thinking how HUGE this town was... then I thought about my mom, her sitting there when I was younger, and now me thinking of her as I watch Darian sing his little heart out (and my did he loook handsome!!!) So I brushed a tear (ok, maybe 3) away, and listened and video'd and took pictures of.... I mean, what else do we mom's do??!! Boo lookin handsome as always!Big brother...little brother =) NOTHING BETTER!

It seemed like an ordinary Sunday...

You know, those days where you're trying to get kids to eat neatly before you leave, trying to find everything like Bibles, diaper bags, watch and make sure the cat doesn't get out... just a typical Sunday..lol Then you have a service like today that really just brings your heart around to the place where home really is suppossed to be. Rick sang a song he wrote about Mary and Martha...the two sisters... where was the right place to be??? Busy..worrying...doing... or sitting at our Savior's feet? The Holy Spirit moved in such a tender way reminding us all that no matter how crazy, no matter how busy, no matter how rushed....the one place that truly matters is at the Savior's feet.

(oh, on a mommy note...BRANDON FINALLY got his haircut...lol) He doesn't look as much like a bobble-head now... =)

Time

I don't think we really understand the concept of time. Having a 14 year old, makes you realize how quickly they go from diapers to young men. Having a 2 year old makes you realize how quickly they go from infants to toddlers. I guess just watching your children grown should give us a better concept of time....I don't know. What I DO KNOW is that it had been over 2 years....yes 2 years since my sweet hubby and I had been out alone together...and....drumroll please.... we actually made it out to supper alone (thank you Mrs. Rathbun) on Saturday. May I just say that time meant the world to me that night.... no kids interupting, you mom he did this, or dad can you change the music, or can you hand me this or that, or when will we be there.... I guess I could go on and on... what it made me realize and remember is that if there is one person I can spend time with I always want it to be Sheldon... I miss him when he's gone to work, I miss him poking fun at my "little issues"..ok, my stupidity at some simple things...lol ANYWAY, just had to say that it will not be another 2 years before I steal my hubby for myself again... I don't care if it's to go absolutely nowhere, I'd rather be there with him than anyone in the whole world. After 11 years, I love you more each day =) I love you Sheldon.... and here's to the many more years to come..... I LOVE YOU STILL!!!!!

His Word...

So I wrote a verse on our "erase-board" magnet on our fridge, but I used a permanent marker...lol I knew this is a verse I have to constantly be reminded of to help me not worry about things. My sister came down from Joliet Friday afternoon, and she saw the verse (and she just lost her job, and goes to school...so she's got a lot to figure out right now) and she saw the verse on our fridge and said she needs to write that somewhere so she would see it all the time.

It's Matthew 6:34 Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Only by putting our mind on the right things can we truly not worry about the other things. I love the way the Bible can address every single thing in life that we go through and give us many verses to stand on!!!! Reminds me of the other verse that says ~ He gives them perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. Keeping our focus on the grace and forgiveness and love and protection and blessings that the Lord wants to give us helps us deal with the difficult times you encounter in life.

Special Friendships

I think one of God's greatest gifts to us is our friends. Our true friends who are there through the good and the bad, who cry with us, laugh with us, grieve with us, rejoyce with us, grow with us, and especially the gift of them loving our children. Brandon and our kitten (who is technically BIG enough to be called a cat but still sooooo young) reminded me of this the other night. Saturday night it was just me and little guy at home. He took his bath ~ which he invited Oreo the kitten to take with him, over and over again =) and when it was time to chill and watch TV, Brandon and Oreo took on their usual positions they have at nap time. Oreo snuggles so sweetly with Brandon, and Brandon talks to Oreo like he's a real life little friend of his. He tells him that he loves him, he shows Oreo his toys when he's playing, he picks him up and lets the kitten watch out the front screen door as his brothers get on the bus in the morning, he gets in Oreo's face and asks him what he's doing.. I could go on an on. The cutest thing is that Oreo absolutely LOVES Brandon. He is so patient with him even when Brandon isn't exactly "gentle", he lets Brandon carry him in some pretty uncomfortable positions without even getting upset... they always seem to be looking for each other if they're not together. When Brandon falls asleep, his arm is around his furry little friend. It reminded me of some special people God has brought to me as friends... Susie is one I have to say stands out as one of the best gifts of friendship God has ever given me. My momma loved her, she spent time with us as a family when mom was still here and we always had so much fun =) She cried with me as my heart broke when I lost my mom, she has been here for me every step of the way as I have learned to once again live life, she never makes me feel stupid when I ask a question, she is the biggest blessing when it comes to having someone in my life who encourages me as a mommy and a wife. Sometimes I don't think she knows how much I love her and appreciate her, yet at the same time I know that she loves me just as much...even if I'll never know why ;) I guess it's funny that my 2 year old and his relationship with our kitten can make me think to a deeper level and remind me to thank God for those special friends he brings my way.
Best Buddies =)
Sometimes it just takes a friend putting their arm around you =)

Burrrrrrrr

So it's finally here, the cold has arrived (I know, don't complain it's still not AS COLD AS IT WILL GET...lol). I have to admit I emailed some good friends in the southern states and told them how much I'm "looking forward" to (SARCASM..believe me) our first snow that they say could fall this weekend, and then told them how much I wanted to strangle them all when I saw on the weather channel that they're about 30 degrees warmer than we are =) BUT, I have to admit that I truly love the changing of the seasons. I don't think I'd like to live somewhere that has no big climate changes. I can remember once in Georigia on Christmas walking around in a t-shirt and it was nearly 70+ degrees, and I was sad!! It's suppossed to be cold on Christmas and there has to be some snow (I don't really like anything over 6 inches of snow....gets too crazy). In Georgia, they close EVERYTHING if it even starts flying, but they only have sand to put on the roads...no salt... kinda weird to see after growing up here ;) Anyway, just getting excited about the season, not necessarily the FREEZING temps and wind (not to mention wind-chill) but just about this time of the year where people seem to focus on their families with Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years to celebrate. Now on a serious mommy note... Brandon is FINALLY making some serious strides in potty training!!! This to me, is more news worthy than all of the presidential election news we went through ;) WAY TO GO BRANDON!!!
Growing up sooooo fast!!!

Expectations

So having a family of 6 can get a little interesting sometimes. There are so many different ages of our kids, that we have one experiencing teenaged stuff with girlfriends, and all the interesting things that high school brings your way, not to mention the thought that in not even 2 short years he could be driving???? ...to a 10 year old who has a heart of gold (and Boo... no matter what any one ever tells you, GOD calls us ALL to be tender hearted... not just women, men have to have this in them too, and sometimes God gives some men a special tender heart and it will be what makes his future wife know that he's the one...that's how I knew your daddy was the one forever and ever) then comes Gav, who's ALL BOY..100 percent, tough as nails, rough as they come, yet sweet as honey when it comes to his ability to know when you need a little kind word as a pick me up... down to the "Terrible Two's" which I have to say ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE as I've been put through before...lol after having 4 other boys to make it through, Brandon truly is a breeze. He definitely has his moments of stubbornness, but he's met his match when it comes to his mommy and he's figuring that out. All of that I guess to say, that life comes with expectations, you raise your children the best you can so that as they grow up you see their character, their compassion, hopefully their undeniable love for each other, a heart for their church, a living breathing relationship with our Heavenly Father, a passion inside them to live out the grace of God as an example in your life everyday towards everyone. This seems like such a huge expectation when I think of how many times I get aggrevated, or I think I've said the wrong thing, or handled a situation in a way that maybe could've been dealt with diferently. So back to expectations.... I've learned to have expectations, to know that things take time...with each and every one of us, that time is different, but with the word and with love sown into every part, God promises us that our words will not return void.... So when we least expect it is when it seems our expectations play out in front of our eyes =)Time and Patience, Patience and Time

Been gone too long...

So through a variety of sicknesses in the house, war wounds from falling down the stairs, a major sinus infection, and yet 200 million things to do with concerts and fund-raising, I have been sooooo out of the loop =) AND, I usually write at night when everybody else was sleeping, but I found that my body was telling me to GO TO BED ... so I listened. Finally seems that everybody is doing better, of course nothing seems to be slowing down, but I can at least keep up when I'm up to par =) So here's a few shots of things that have been going on...Gav got his new guitar with his birthday money =)

Hallalujiah Night at the church =)

Brandon the glowing sound man =)
One last bloom before winter....I LOVE THIS ROSE BUSH!!!! Blooming in NOVEMBER!
Gotta squeeze in every chance to grill before the snow starts flying!
Loving the last of the warm weather =)
I promise to be blogging more often!

Brandon's You-tube adventures...

I noticed (well...heard VERY LOUDLY) that Brandon was listening to Jeremy Camp's song "Take my Life" on youtube quite a bit today. Tonight at bed time he was laying there singing over and over "take my life, take my mind, take my soul, take my will, I am yours and I give it all to you". I love to hear these words being lifted to Heaven from the lips of a small little boy who is telling God to take it all.... it reminds me to give my all to the Lord and follow his will no matter what... I give it ALL TO YOU!

Short and simple today

I had a very aggrevating day today. Honestly I had to muster up everything in me to not seriously snap on a nurse... once again God shows us that we can handle more than we think we can if we give it to Him. The funny thing is that earlier during the day I was reading the Word of Faith magazine that we get, and it was talking about taming the tongue...
James 3:2-5 (New Living Translation)
2. We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way.
3. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.
4. And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong.
5. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but WHAT ENORMOUS DAMAGE IT CAN DO. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

I think I need to park on these verses for a while to really understand the significance of my tongue (my words)...

37 years ago...

37 years ago today I wasn't even born yet... It would be another 16 days until I entered this world. On October 22, 1971 it was my brothers first birthday. Randy turned one, and I was just a few short weeks away from being born. My momma was married to the love of her life, and I'm sure it seemed like a normal fall day. This day however, was the day my daddy died. It's seems weird that this day takes its emotional toll on me every year, and I wasn't even around when it actually happened. To me, this shows the ultimate bond between father and daughter, I've always loved my daddy even though I never laid eyes on him. He had picked out my name (Angela Christine... meaning Angela - Angel or messenger from God; and Christine which also means Christian or follower of Christ) hoping I was a girl. They never even picked out a boys name, my daddy was convinced I was his little girl. Now with my mom gone, these dates mean even more to me... Daddy's birthday which was Sept. 10th, the day he died, October 26.... Momma's birthday, June 12th, the day she died, April 4th.... God has shown me how to celebrate these days now instead of mourn these days. One day my children will look at my birthday and the day I go to Heaven, and I want them to celebrate who I was and what I instilled in their lives, not just the fact that I'm gone... just like my momma and daddy, I want to celebrate their lives, not focusing so much on their deaths. It's a hard lesson to learn, and there are days I FAIL MISERABLY and just want them back... then there are days where I truly focus on their love for me and know it's still right here in my heart (something that can never be taken away) and how wonderfully happy they are together in Heaven. It awakens my heart to remember the power of the Cross, the power of the sacrifice that Jesus made for me, the power of the cleansing blood that was shed so I too can know that Heaven is my eternal home and nothing can take that away from me! And one day I will be able to once again hug my momma and for the first time ever hug my daddy. How GREAT IS GOD???!!!!!

HIS will, not mine

I've been dealing with some struggles lately that have to do with obeying God and trusting him enough to make a lot of changes. For us stay at home mom's ... a somewhat STRUCTURE is always set and in place as you deal with their normal things over and over, but when you feel like God is shaking you up a bit, kinda sending you into unfamiliar territory spiritually speaking things tend to show you where your weak spots in your faith are. I trust God unconditionally and whole-heartedly so we're taking these few steps out into the water knowing that God himself is there with his stretched out hand with promise after promise of how he will take care of us, protect us, guide us, but most of all LOVE US! Times are changing =)

Priorities

I feel like I've been struggling to make sure I'm in God's will on my priorities. Though, when I step back and look at things, it's soooo clear that I'm in his will, that I wonder why I feel like I go back and forth on it...it really seems so simple. Then I notice that it's really not me that has a problem, it's the "normal world" that sees me refusing to just hand my kids over for everyone except me to take care of them. I remember what it was like to come home and my mom be there. I remember what it was like to see my 2 younger sisters and little brother not have that guiding force. I don't want my kids to become "statistics" like all the other kids who get home and nobody's there for like 2-1/2 to 3 hours... not to mention the thought of putting Brandon into daycare. And for me to make decent enough money to even make "getting ahead" do-able, I would have to go to Bloomington.. gas prices, gone until when????, and when is the quality time I would have with my husband and my children??!! Knowing when Brandon starts school I can get more involved in things outside of the home. It used to be so natural for momma's to teach their kids and then send them to school when they were ready .... now most people seem to think you're crazy if you stay at home and REALLY try to get them ready to change the world!!!

Pumpkin Fun =)

Sunday me & the smaller boys went to the Pumpkin Farm (oh... It's actually called Jones farm I think..out by Graymont). Anyway, it was lots of fun, went with the Sapp Family (who we adore) and it was Brandon's first real understanding of what fall, pumpkins, and the fun and crazy upcoming Halloween. We had a blast, the kids loved playing with Nevan, Skyler, Kayla, the rest of the family (even Brandi's mom and her step-dad went). We always have fun when we're together. Brandi keeps me laughing, Daniel keeps Brandi aggrevated to the point of at one time they were wrestling over a switch Daniel had so Brandi could beat him with it!!! =) Like I said, LOTS OF FUN! And fall is my absolute favorite time of the year.. so it was a HUGE blessing (thank you to someone special who even made it possible!!!!!!.... I love you dearly)
Brandon and the goat he fed =)

Ventured out today...

So I ventured out today (trying my best not to cough on people...I'm not contagious, but it sure gets annoying.. and I guess they don't KNOW I'm not contagious...lol) After spending from 9:00 a.m. to almost 1:00 p.m. sorting through summer clothes for ALL the boys and getting out the cold weather clothes with my WONDERFUL SWEET LOVING HELPFUL husband (here's to you once again baby) I went to the Varsity Football game to watch Cody Followell play (#85). I had promised him that I would come watch, and I FINALLY made it!! I got some pretty good Cody action plays on camera, and some photos too. It's amazing to see someone you've watched grow from about age 9 to 16 suddenly (ok to me suddently, obviously years FLY by me!!) become this wonderful young man who is so so so polite and sweet and generous and kind, and an awesome football player. It was also nice to get a little mommy time while Sheldon took care of the boys, and get out for a little while =) I had the joy of running into my sweet sweet friend Kayla who is in our youth group, and spending some quality time with her too!!! We had needed to catch up anyway, and this was SOOOO PERFECT.. We walked back to my house, I let her drive me around some and then we went to Daves together, and then to her house where I went in and chatted with her momma, and got a huge huge hug from Daniel (I swear, his muscles just keep getting bigger and bigger.... way to go Daniel!!!) Anyway, I had a blessed day, even got a sense of huge accomplishment from finishing all the hours of clothes swapping that we did, and got to spend time watching one of our most handsome and sweetest teens do what he loves to do, and spend some awesome quality time with one of our teen girls who I ADORE and then the hubby grilled out some amazing pork chops and Jonathan cooked the corn & Mac and cheese inside, so I didn't have to cook =) How much more special can one day be...LOL =) Cody waiting for his chance...
#85 RULES
So close...ended up out of bounds =(
AMAZING Blocking power =)

AMAZING CATCH...sorry it's not in better focus =(
Miss Kayla =)

Yippee, the signs of the cold is coming =)

So I absolutely LOVE fall, and love the cold (ok, not cold, but really really cool) weather! I love big sweat-shirts, cuddling under blankets, all the leaves changing.. oh, and the cooler weather definitely helps with the HOT FLASHES...LOL (that's for you Sheldon!!.. who puts up with my body's crazy behavior!!) Anyway, another sign of fall is harvest, which keeps the hubby out later, but I'm trying my best to be a good sport! =) We just really miss him when Daddy's not here more often!! =) To top it off, with Harvest, comes some serious allergy days for Gavin and it seems like half the house is somehow affected by this crazy allergy stuff.. YUCK! Then, mommy here goes and gets a serious sinus infection..(followed by anti-biotics, prednisone, and a nasal spray for 10 days). Hence, I haven't blogged for almost a week because I usually stay up late and do this, and my butt was in bed everynight at 8:30! So here's to fall... my ABSOLUTELY FAVORITE TIME OF THE YEAR, and here's to all the wonderful memories about to be made with Hallalujiah night, and Thanksgiving and these blessed times with family and friends that really makes life worth all the punches =)

Chaotic calmness....lol

Gavin's cake
PACKED HOUSE!!!
Me & Alaina
I LOVE THE LOOK ON TESSA'S FACE IN THIS PICTURE!!!
My sis Anna & her little girl Alaina
Gav's sweet new shoes =)
My sis Leslie
My handsome 9 year old =)
My brother Randy & sister Anna
Sheldon & Alaina


So this morning before 9:00 a.m Sheldon had already been to the store, made almost 40 pounds of Spaghetti for the Fellowship dinner, and had a game plan for the rest of the day. Gavin's birthday was Wednesday, so we had his party from 2-4 which actually ended up being from 12:00 until almost 8:30 that we had company. We also ended up throwing over 20 burgers on the grill for those that were left still visiting at supper time. It really was wonderful =) I LOVE getting together with my family. My older brother Randy I absolutely ADORE, I MISS my 2 sisters so stinkin much that when we do get together, I cherish every second that we have. My little brother had to leave, but having him living here has been really wonderful for me =) I don't tell them enough how much I love them!! I know I tell them A LOT, but it just never seems like enough! Especially after days like today when we're all together... there is NOTHING like having a close family!! I had a friend tell me today that he wished his family could get together and actually enjoy it like we do. That touched my heart, because it's obvious to other people just how much we care about each other. Momma would be proud ;) looking down from Heaven!!
Oh, Gav said he had a GREAT birthday party, so success on that part of the day, the spaghetti is ready for our Fellowship dinner, so success #2, and the best part is we all spent the day together!!! Thank you HONEY (Sheldon) for all that you do, without you I would be lost, our house would be trashed, and I would probably misplace one or more of our children...lol =) You truly amaze me with your organization, your ability to keep chaos almost calm, and you smile the whole time! I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!

Another lesson

So tonight Darian & Gavin went to the football game with a friend of ours (whom we trust completely with our kids) and near the end of the game, our friend called saying he couldn't find Gavin. He had Darian, and his son, and they were all 3 told to stay together, but no one knew where Gavin was. He tells me he'll call me right back, I heard him talking to Jonathan telling him and Allie to look for Gavin and to call him if they found him. When he called me back, I asked him if there were any kids playing a football game behind the bleachers. He said that's where he was walking too, and amazingly that's where he found the "missing" child. So, since he didn't listen, I told our friend to just meet me at the gate and I would pick him up right then, as punishment. (though the game was ALMOST over..which by the way PONTIAC totally kicked Prairie Central's butt...lol) Fast forward to tucking Gavin into bed after getting his butt chewed by our friend, and his butt chewed the entire way home (I bet he was really happy we only live 3 blocks from the high school..lol). As I'm tucking my little boy in who turned 9 two days ago and has a birthday party tomorrow with family I tried explaining to him the true nature of his disobedience. I told him about people who want to hurt little boys just because they're little boys, and that we watch him for his protection and safety. I explained that we don't want anything to happen to him, we love him, and that we only want what's best for him. Kissing him goodnight, the Lord spoke to my heart and reminded me that this is the same reason he has boundaries for us. Being honest, being obedient, trusting that He knows what's best for us and listening no matter what. Momma was a little convicted ;) Rules aren't to keep us from having fun, they're to keep us safe, and that especially goes for the way God feels about us.

Tiny fingers, tiny toes

Some friends of ours just adopted a little girl Ayla who was born Sept. 29th to a mother who chose life for her baby. Not only did she choose life for her baby, she has given the greatest gift to an awesome couple (Matt & Mickey)
who SOO deserve the chance to be parents and feel this new love unlike any other you've ever felt in your life. They struggled with invitro for many years and suffered the heartache of many miscarriages. They made it the farthest carrying their triplets, and I can only imagine the heartbreak of holding 3 tiny little ones and kissing them goodbye before you even get to say hello.
God bless this young mother who gave this baby a BEAUTIFUL life with two loving parents, and God bless Matt and Mickey for all that they have been through, and for the wonderful gift of life they have been given. Little Miss Ayla Grace, you are truly a blessing from above =) Ayla Grace

Daddy Matt

Mommy Mickey

Thank you Lord for those scared mothers whose hearts listen to your pleading for the life of their child. Thank you for their sacrifice, as I could not imagine giving up my child. Thank you Lord for forgiving me for taking my fertility for granted. For those of us who have never had to struggle to get pregnant, may we always remember the cry of the barren womb... for those babies who are aborted, you are my mission in life, the fire the Lord has placed in my heart, the calling I can remember since I was a very young girl... I know my prayers will be answered someday and somehow the Lord will use me to protect you.

To my friend Laura =)

I found this video, and this song reminds me so much of you... your blog from the other day talking about being free... we are all free to be loved by the Most High. Thanks for always reminding me about how special we all are to God and encouraging me! This one's for you girl!

Happy Birthday Gavin =)

So Gavin turned 9 today =) He took cupcakes and mondo's to his class & even one to his teacher from last year (and they butted heads quite a bit, so I was surprised when he told me he took her one...lol) So here I sit realizing one of my babies is 9 and that just seems crazy to me! I know this is the natural progression when you have a kid...they do grow up, but it's weird at the same time when you look at them and in a flash can remember the first time you saw their little face when they came into the world. So now that I've had my "moment" (as Sheldon likes to call them) I'll just say here's to my Gavin Jeremiah... I love you buddy and am so proud of who you are becoming as you grow in age and in the Lord each and every day =) I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
2006

2007

2008

F-r-e-e that spells free =)

ALL of my kids (ok, and me too) know that crazy catch song for the free credit report... about f-r-e-e that spells free, credit report dot com baby (there's a couple different versions to these commercials with the same catchy tune ...lol)
ANYWAY, the point of all this is, I found this video on God-tube (ok, BRANDON found the video on God-tube...lol)

Perfect Monday

So Sheldon ended up being off today (LONG STORY), but it was wonderful to actually have the day with me, him and Brandon while the older boys were at school. Brandon loooooved having his daddy all to himself and running some errands together with us. Topped off of course with the "daddy & Brandon nap" which always makes Brandon smile!!! I got some serious house cleaning done while they were napping, though in my heart I too was upstairs snuggled with them...lol. I'm not going to worry that he missed a day of pay, I'm giving that to God, because I don't want to ruin the amazing day we had together by replacing it with worry about anything at all!!!! Sometimes just simple time together is the one thing that I wouldn't trade for all the money in the world!!

Church today

So church today was pretty unusual (which I loooovvvee it when Pastor Kim follows the leadings of the Holy Spirit even if that means everything will be "different"). We truly always seem so blessed when a service is like the one we had today. I have to admit that a momma can't hold back her tears when her 10 year old asks if she'll go forward for prayer with him... to see tears in his eyes, and then to have the man you love, the one man that you know would lay his own life down to save mine or our childrens, and watch him serving in the ministry like we had so many times thought to be a dream that we would "someday" see come true, and as it does before your very own eyes, your heart truly skips a beat. I kinda think it's neat that just last night I wrote about "MY KNIGHT" yet today I feel more in love with him than I ever thought possible. God is so good =) I find it wonderful that at our church, you can share your WORST and you can share your VICTORIES, but no matter what, you're loved unconditionally!

My knight .....

I don't think I ever give Sheldon enough credit for how wonderful he is.... I have the husband most women only dream about having. He's considerate, sweet, romantic (and that's hard with 4 kids!!..lol), generous to me, gentle with me, always loving, always forgiving. We may have our moments of slight disagreement sometimes, but it never lasts long. We truly do not fight, one of us is always sure to apologize when we do have a disagreement...me if I've been stubborn, him if he's been stubborn, it truly is amazing to see how God does take you from being 2 seperate people, and blend you to become one amazing team with a bond that can't be broken. So here's to my hubby, who puts up with more from me than most people know, holds me tight when I need it, makes me laugh even when I don't feel like it, and guides our family to walk in the blessings and the will of God. I never knew 12 years ago that he would become this man that I truly believe is my knight in shining armor =)

Tender Mercy

You know those times in your life where you're really struggling ... and along comes someone who shows you such tender mercy that you cherish those memories forever? It can sometimes be just a hug at the right time and a whispered I love you, or an act of kindness that is simple, yet came from the heart of God straight to you through someone. It can be those words of encouragement that great friends come through with just about the time you're convinced you're a sinking ship going down...and quick...lol. Anyway, I love the way God puts things in people's hearts and if we're obedient to do what His Holy Spirit is prompting us to do, we bless others with a touch from God. I pray that I am obedient, I pray that I always remember when I received (and continue to receive) those tender mercies, and exactly how special it always makes me feel, so that it makes me want to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirits leading and be a blessing to someone as if God himself is reaching down and hugging them and that they'll see in my heart the love of God and draw them nearer and nearer to Him.

Moving on...

It's hard to move on in life when you're not sure how. After losing my mom, I wasn't sure even how to go through daily life without her here. How do you go from having someone who has been there for EVERYTHING in your life, and you spend time with everyday and talk to, and all of the sudden, they're just gone? God has proven himself SO faithful walking me hand in hand through the journey of losing someone you love and miss every second of every day. I never blamed him, I know she's in a wonderful place where we will be together again someday, I just plain miss her. The last few days it's almost like God has given me a special reminder in my spirit, that if he carried me second by second through the most heart breaking moment in my life, he'll carry me through the "stressful" days with the kids, the tight money, and my own personal struggles of trying to make sure that I am doing His will everyday of my life. I finally feel like emotionally I'm moving on... moving on in His love, my trust for Him, knowing that He's always moving on with me...as he carries me in the palm of His hands.

Busted...

It's funny when you figure out that you 2-1/2 year old understands soooo much more than you give him credit for sometimes....lol =) There are A LOT of things that I'm learning that Brandon COMPLETELY understands. You can have a straight up conversation with this little guy and he UNDERSTANDS and RESPONDS accordingly. It's hilarious at times (which by the way "That's hilarious" is one his new favorite sayings...that and "that's amazing" would be another favorite. It just astounds me when he walks into the kitchen where I am and uses a complete sentence to tell me something, or ask me something (usuall TELL me something...lol) He is just growing up so stinkin fast, and is so flippin smart that it amazes me. He's already asking me what typing means, like when I'm sending an email, and I told him that I'm typing words...letters that together spell words and make sentences for people to read, so now he's practicing his sentences when he types (which usually ends up somehow being a google search...lol) But he already recognizes so many letters that we're working on teaching him the phonics, though some of the sounds he already corresponds with the letter. I forgot how much fun it is to see the whole world come alive little by little as the small ones learn true communication. It's such a wonder every day. And Brandon has to be the smartest kid I know when I comes to music...it makes me wonder if somehow I have Laura & Jason's kid since they are both so gifted in music...lol He recognizes so many Christian artists, not only by the band, but also lead singers... he knows Third Day and Mac Powell; he knows Jeremy Camp, Toby Mac, Skillet, Day of Fire and the lead singer is Josh Brown, ... I seriously could go on and on... he recognizes songs within the first few notes of a song and can tell you what song it is and who its by.... I find myself at 36 wishing I had my 2 year olds brain...LOL =) Anyway, I know every child is gifted, and it's just neat as a parent to watch your childs gifts develop and see exactly how unique God has made them!